i don't know why no one's ever told me about this site; it's been up since 1995 or so. you'll find plenty of good funny writing here. plus, they convinced independent filmmaker, George Kuchar, to be in their movie--i love that.
Leather Tongue Video
Leather Tongue's website used to be here, but something else is there now--something bad.

Leather Tongue is a good video store, but i can't go back there for a while because I owe like $30 in late fees, and I'm counting on the Y2K bug to wipe out that debt. They have a really nice selection of independent films, and the DIY punk aesthetic permeates the whole enterprise. Unfortunately, a side effect of that is that a lot of their videos are in pretty bad shape.

it's on Valencia at 18th in San Francisco. (but if you're in SF, you've probably already heard of it. and if you're not in SF, you could care less where it's located.)

i like this site a lot. it's obsessive. and there's tons of stuff here. Mark Thomas has put up his receipts, his writing, and (finally!) a message board with a section that you can only post to if you're drunk. but my favorite part is the massive payphone project.

- - - - - - -

hoopla's homepage kits
these are so great. ready-made homepages for you--goth girl, goth boy, and computer professional. oh yeah, you too, designer.

like all good parodies, it's the details that make it work: goth boy's page is "The Dark Lord's Home page." the computer professional page includes links to slashdot and the w3c. etc, etc. like i said, these are so great.

the layout for this misterpants page that you're reading right now conforms to an alarming degree to the computer professional one. embarassing.
infomercial for real estate money-making scam
starring twin dwarves who found financial success using "the system." i swear.
2 nights in a row last week i dreamed about getting busted for narcotics possession. the first night, it was crack. the second night, pot. what's up with that?
05.24.99 more mfarbish
here's his third age personal portrait, which features memorable lines such as:

"Hey Natz'so get that lazoR off my butterfinger. And don't say butt yez''s mr. Bond. Hurry Mike's (h)eating up..."


"If I had one wish it would be: Zap you're for dinner "

elsewhere, mfarbish is looking for a roomate and a rent-to-own "as in -all rent!-\TO OWN ."

(mfarbish has graced these pages before.)

- - - - - - -

India's Top 10 Albums
courtesy of Rupert Murdoch's Channel V.

This week Britney Spears has been ousted from the number 3 spot by Aryans.

- - - - - - -

video-karaoke channel from the Phillipines.

05.23.99DJ QBert
i was looking for a clip from the new DJ QBert video and stumbled across this impressive footage of him in action. i also found the Sneak Attack video on the scratch pickles site. (but it's in RealPlayer format, which i hate to deal with.) Sneak Attack's okay, but i really wanted to find the Mentos ad he did, which is just brilliant. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like it's online anywhere yet.

- - - - - - -

The Jack Russell terrier site
these guys have lots of JRTs and publish a calendar of JRT photos. i like the star of the site, Jasper, because he's a little bad-ass.

i thought i'd find all sorts of funny stuff here, but i guess the funniest thing about these dogs are the owners, and this site is more about the dogs themselves. (Except for this picture of a JRT and a guy wearing a bowler--see what i mean about the owners?)

my favorite photos here:

also, i like this from the photo submission guidelines: "Subjects we do not include in our Calendars: Dogs in clothes (although, a bandana, or a typical dog coat, or sweater, is ok)....and any photographic images that are depicting dead quarry are unacceptable."
this column
what happened to this column? at first it seemed to maybe have some potential, but i haven't written anything here since 05.11.99. and what's worse is that now i've finally put something here, and it's just this self-referential crap.

05.21.99 Premiere Speakers
huge list of motivational and inspirational speakers. The bios all talk about their "dynamic, motivating and inspiring lectures." This agency seems to have special interest in right-wing and/or religious speakers. Or maybe the inspirational and motivational speaker market is pretty much cornered by those folks.

some good ones:

Meadowlark Lemon
"The hero of hard court hilarity." I looked at this yesterday and it talked about how he found Christ and became a Reverend, but they must have updated his bio today because that's all gone now. Where'd it go, Reverend Lemon?

The World's Worst Waiter
god bless america and the free market economy that allows a man to intentionally be the world's worst waiter, bill himself as such, and get paid much better than most good waiters for it. i wish they talked more about his bad waiter hyjinx, but they only mention that he fills water glasses all the way to the rim--which is pretty funny, but i guess i was expecting more.

Shep Hyken
"one of the top entertainers/magicians working the corporate field....His most requested programs focus on customer service, internal service, customer relations and a motivational program entitled 'You Are The Magic!'"

a magic show about customer relations--too good to be true.

- - - - - - -

old Pinky Tuscadero news
Pinky Tuscadero, car alarm, shotgun, jail.