dateURLjapan stuffother
04.29.00 The Jailbird journal
Interesting journal from inmate #N508853, who was incarcerated for 2 months for a DUI. It was engrossing enough that i read most of it today.

day 28: he was punished for maintaining and publishing a journal; this is contrary to the 1st ammendment.

day 52: prison fight.

[found on zaa zaa furi, which is a pretty good low-key weblog. hello.]

- - - - - - -

David K. Udall's 1885 prison journal
probably interesting, but the jpeg files are way too big to read much of this comfortably. surely this is because of the primitive jpeg compression algorithms they were using in the late 19th century.

he has elegant penmanship.

- - - - - - -

prison journal from a 26-year-old in Iowa busted for possession.
i skimmed it. interesting.

- - - - - - -

US slang
japanese pages explaining US slang. weird and interesting and kind of funny to read, with mostly pretty dead-on descriptions, i think, although some of the ideas about american culture are pretty off.

pictures: words: also, the taco bell menu.

- - - - - - -

turkey stalkers
a page devoted to turkey stalkers. what the hell?

- - - - - - -

grandpa munster
wicked photo. wicked GOOD!

i had really weird dreams this week.
i cause a scene in a restaurant because the service is so unapologetically bad. i stand up and rant about what a sucky restaurant it is. (audience of restaurant patrons applauds. why, thank you.) i threaten to return every day and cause another scene until they make amends.

[easily explained: some kind of wish fulfillment, sure, okay. vindication, group approval, sure, sure. right. yeah.]

I was watching Adam Sandler in a bunch of skit comedy on TV. (i'm not like a huge fan or anything, i mean, he's okay, whatever.) All of the skits were in Spanish--not dubbed, but actually spoken by Sandler and cast in Spanish. I couldn't understand a word.

[i have no good explanation for what the hell that was all about. dreams about watching tv strike me in general as super lame. just a shade better than, say, a dream about looking at websites, or one that takes place completely within Photoshop.]

i'll try not to write about dreams again.

you know what the worst is though? when you're telling someone about a weird dream you had that you don't know what it was about. and then they say "well, clearly that's about X!" where X represents some obviously embarassing thing and they're exactly right. and you're embarassed. that's the worst.

yeah, yeah, i'll try not to write about dreams again.
Comedian John Witherspoon's e-commerce site. Also includes a photo gallery.

interesting for a minute. you have quite a few minutes left in your life, hopefully. why not give just one to comedian John Witherspoon?

- - - - - - -

The Hound Journal
"'The Hound Journal'" is your number one online newspaper for the latest of viewpoints by Bonnie Coose and Erica Griffin."

includes the Top 10 Reasons Why Everyone Should Hate Brad Darby, as well as info on why Lockwood's prom is going to suck again this year.

- - - - - - -

Mummy the Peepshow information
Mummy rocks. Read the member info. Seriously, read it. (Half-way down the page.)

[from Patrick, via Stefan.]

- - - - - - -

a collection of word oddities and trivia
such as the highest scoring scrabble word (oxyphenbutazone). and lots more.

good old-fashioned geeky fun, the sort of thing our geek forefathers intended the internet for I think.
how to rob a japanese house
A crime re-enactment on TV recently showed this snapshot of the criminal mind in action.

You know how you take your shoes off when entering a japanese home, right? Apparently, to save time, this particular burglar brought shower caps with him to put over his shoes, so he wouldn't be slowed down by taking them off upon entering and putting them back on again when he left.

so brilliant!

not worth visiting, except for: [oh hey, late-breaking translation info about the dancing mice from Quezovercoatl:

"...presumably part of the study in which the cancer-fighting abilities of bananas were proven. (Although I was under the impression that scientific studies needed more than ten mousies as a sample size... ) In the first study, the cancerous mice were given water and mouse food, and died after 65 days. In the second study, the cancerous mice were given water, mouse food, and banana juice five times a day. This resulted in 3 mice becoming completely cured, and 7 mice dying horrible deaths by cancer. Yay! See the happy non-cancer mousies dance!"]

see also one column to the right. -->

- - - - - - -

fan site for a great-looking tv show i've never seen. broadcast in Japan from 1978-1982. A dubbed version was shown in the UK around the same time.

so great. here's why:
  • named, Monkey! with the exclamation mark.
  • prominently featured a monkey character, hence the name, duh.
  • 70s TV with 70s special effects. very special indeed.
  • Japanese TV.
  • based on a 16th century Chinese epic.
  • someone made a commodore-64 game about it. how many other 16th century Chinese epics can say that? huh?
Here you can download music from Monkey! and here are some Monkey! videos.

good monkey.

- - - - - - -

sausageNet: Cult & Classic TV from a British Perspective
mostly a portal, but with lots of fine-looking television in the anglo-saxon tradition--tv i'm not familiar with, but maybe some of it i would like to get to know someday.

most likely, however, it's tv that looks really intriguing as a screen capture but is disappointing when actually watched, unless you are a 5-8 year old.

- - - - - - -

doesn't look like a very good movie. but i like the picture of the person (monster?) covered head-to-toe in foil.

(i once tried this as a halloween costume without success. i didn't have nearly enough foil. and was told at every house that i was "much, much, MUCH too old to be trick-or-treating.")

also here's a foil trailer and diet coke ad. skip the trailer. (Foil is NOT the next Blair Witch). but if you can handle a 1MB mpeg, check out the Diet Coke ad. brilliant! beautiful!
banana info
friendly Japanese banana propaganda.
  • pointless drivel: do not read
    over in the URL column, see that? yet another bulleted list--i'm such a lazy writer, always making the bulleted lists. then again, perhaps, you're a lazy reader who appreciates the "info-chunking." i know i am and would. lazy in general, me. General Lazy. Leader of the Lazy Brigade. Etc.

    See? I said not to read it.
  • 04.21.00 german burger king tv spots
    One for "Der Coca-Cola Beanie Bear" and one parody of Antonioni's Blow Up and 6 more. Fun!
    - - - - - - -

    burger king morning sets
    from burger king japan. ha.

    - - - - - - -
    The Official Web Site of Burger King Corporation
    Nihon no Ba-ga- Kingu
    King of taste. King of value.
    burger king, España
    A la parrilla sabe mejor.
    Deutsche Burger King
    Weil's besser schmeckt.
    Burger King, UK
    (no tagline?)
    sito attualmente in costruzione...
    MkDonald's. (ha.)

    - - - - - - -

    global tv
    Global TV is a segment on a german tv show called TV Total which looks pretty insane. these clips are in realaudio format with german commentary. there's some good crazy japanese stuff here for you fans of good crazy japanese stuff.

    and here are some more clips to download in mpeg format, from a fairly slick unofficial site. Download der TV Total Videos!

    and even more TV Total clips, in mpeg format, but mostly german bloopers. german actors flubbing lines--not so funny in english.

    more german tv clips, in general, includes TV Total and some Big Brother even.

    (and um... from TVTotal... umm... outtake of a monkey humping a stuffed animal. relatively tasteful, as these things go. but still: a new low for misterpants!)

    - - - - - - -

    awesome ivory coast bugspray ad.

    looks like it's not making the rounds yet--i'm kind of surprised.

    - - - - - - -

    stupid research tricks
    some funny stories about whacked-out library patrons from Thwart not the librarian.

    at this point, i want to acknowledge that this is more of a link. it's true.

    [from my mom. my mom's a librarian.]

    - - - - - - -

    monkeys rule. i could look at monkey pictures all day, every day. i wish that was my job, looking at monkey pictures and maybe i dunno drawing on them in red marker or thinking up funny captions or something. let me know if you hear of a job like that.

    Here's something fun to think about (finally!)--each one of these famous tv monkeys is probably more famous than you or me! Even more so with monkey film celebs. And not just monkey-famous! People-famous!

    oh, but now it's time for some basketball in front of Holy Monkey Palace.

    also this site links to a freaky flash movie of a world-weary monkey smoking a pipe. always refreshing.

    [ape-o-naut finder=chisato.]

    - - - - - - -

    Scientists teach chimpanzee to speak English
    old news. crazy crap. i didn't know. talking chimps. yow!
    a japanese ad for kewpie brand mayonnaise
    it's dark, ska music is playing, and on what seems like the world's tiniest football field, football players are engaged in a slow-motion football game with a bottle of mayonnaise. one resourceful player decides to use a bazooka to really get the mayonnaise into the end zone. a female (teammate?) catches it. hooray. touchdown. she does a victory dance in front of red, white, and blue stars.

    04.20.00 gaga for googie
    almost makes me homesick--but a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter washed down with a Coke will usually clear that up. (followed by a nice long drive and then maybe an hour or two spent cleaning my guns.)

    - - - - - - -

    Teddy Bear Island: Katie Kelly Collectibles
    Josh the Pilgrim Bear, Larry Beard the basketball playing bear, Buckshot the Cowboy Horse. Etc. All so distorted and freakishly bizarre and adorable you could eat them all up. Yum! Hideous! Yum!

    "They have bean bag bodies and sculptone faces, feet and hands!"

    - - - - - - -

    Tiki Objects by Bosko: Tiki Poles
    this is perfect because i need a 9-foot-tall Marquesan Island Head Hunter tiki pole, but i don't really want to spend more than $1500 on it.

    - - - - - - -

    tiki mugs for sale
    see also the tiki mug swap meet.

    - - - - - - -

    the doo-wop society of southern california
    The DWS of SC has some really interesting stuff:

    - - - - - - -

    Q: how many coolness points do i lose for kind of liking these sugar-coated Scandanavian danceteria popstars?

    A: less than i lose for using the phrase 'coolness points'.

    also not as many as i lose for reading stuff like articles on Lene's breast implants all morning. and way less than i lose for linking to them on my weblog. and for using the word 'weblog.' and for having a weblog.