old star wars hunks page|
i was surprised to find someone so goo-goo-eyed about George Lucas. And then even more surprised when she started cooing over John Williams.
Also, it always makes me really happy when someone includes General Zod from Superman 2 on their page for whatever reason. If you were to ask me, what's the one thing that you like to see on a webpage, i would say without hesitation, General freaking Zod, man. ZOD!
pocket hero, general zod
"5 points of articulation"!
and while you're here, may as well check out this other pocket hero, crazy green Jor-El.
Lori Beatty's A-Team Fan-Fiction Archive
while i'm happy that this exists, pretty much all fan fiction seems kind of the same to me. here's a snippet from Gift Certificate: "Jody felt her own desires swelling up, threatening to engulf her, but she pushed them forcefully aside. She was still wearing far too many clothes and Murdock was, too, for that matter."
test pilot collective
Nice-looking font and design site. Just how you like it--all pixelly, clean and fresh. Plus they boldly keep their portfolio area totally empty. Nice. Seriously, nice.
this is from a good site called x42 and go see it for yourself because there are lots of other cool techie web tricks there. my favorite thing, i think is this altameter. it queries altavista and returns the number of hits for a word. also it lets you compare 2 or more words to see which has more sites mentioning them, according to altavista. pretty cool.
the most juvenile and embarassing comparison i thought to try, which is because i am juvenile and embarassing, yes, but also because it says something about the internet, something about people, something about...life: penis vagina dick pussy. (also, will mean this page gets a ton of search engine hits, too i guess. sorry porn surfers, nothing good here.)
also can be used for web popularity contests: the onion vs suck
nerds vs jocks vs goths vs stoners
icq vs aol instant messenger
grover vs yoda
celine dion vs the dead kennedys
hey, i got a cell phone because in japan regular phones cost like $700 for the license. and the license is just a license to own and operate a phone in japan--nothing else; i'd still have to pay all the other (expensive!) phone charges on top of that.
This is because NTT is a big bloated evil monopoly; it makes the American phone companies look almost altruistic by comparison. (oh, here's another example. to set up phone service, you have to physically go to the phone company. you can't just call. even though it's the PHONE company.)
Anyway, to avoid the phone license, I got a cell phone, and it's so small and funny and feature-rich that I'll definitely write more about it later in this column. But right now I want to tell you about the best-named feature on the phone--manner mode.
manner mode = vibrate. when i switch it to manner mode, it doesn't beep. so if i'm on the bus or train, and i want to be mannerly, i just have to switch to manner mode.
everyone using netscape for your email, go into your preferences right now and disable the V Card attaching thing. V Cards are so stupid. everyone who gets them from you resents you for them. it's true.
Snow White Cafe photo|
Easily the best photograph ever taken within the confines of the Magic Kingdom.
It's from The Art and Photography of Stephanie Allespach which has a whole bunch of goodies. Like a ton of nicely manipulated photo art stuff, especially the combat poses.
also there are professional photos of celebs and whatnot, like this one with Quentin Tarantino looking like some sort of exaggerated caricature of himself.
flash movie of romans nailing jesus to the cross
it's a really involved animation, all done in sillhouette in front of one of those inspirational skies.
also because it's a flash movie, there's loads of flying text. when you make your flash movie, don't forget the flying text. no one ever gets sick of that cheap effect. just like every car ad since 1992. words fly by. it's wonderful. they have so much more meaning when they float by than if they just sit there. anyway, these words are supposed to be inspirational, i suppose. words like "holy" and "king".
then when you're tired of that one, there's the extremely slow-moving part 2. it's beat-down time again, but this time the Romans are in the receiving line.
after the angel rolls the stone from the mouth of the cave, jesus is not only alive, but is shooting laser beams. that's my kind of messiah. one with special effects straight out of Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park.
"Get this shroud off-a me--I'm bustin' out spaceman style."
Shooting lasers out of the cave. Oh yes, thank you Jesus.
i bought a washing machine here. and it's so awesome. here's how all the buttons were explained to me at the store.
first there's small, medium and large loads. easy.
then there's dry which means "gentle" and has nothing to do with drying clothes. It actually refers to the "dry" in "dry clean only" which made sense to the people at the store.
Then there's the button that was explained to me as hurry up!
and there's normal wash, of course.
and here's the super cool thing that makes me want to send this washing machine back to the U.S. when I leave although i don't why I'd ever use it--the button they called appointment. i can make an appointment for my washing machine to start washing 6 or 9 hours from the time i push that button. so seriously cool.
microsoft in 1978|
i ended up looking around this guy's site and i wasn't very interested in most of it, but this picture's just amazing. my hat's off to him for finding it.
clearly, if Bill Gates had been your neighbor, he would have been the strange creepy kid who got knocked down by the bully while waiting for the bus. also, you'd probably catch him out in your yard doing something totally weird at 2 a.m. and then when you turned the lights on and asked him what's up, he wouldn't have a good explanation. maybe he'd just run off.
then later in the week, you'd find a bunch of dead frogs out there or something.
psychic friends' network hugs|
remember needcom? hmm, probably not. okay, well the woman who did that is named Cathy Davies. And she has lots of good stuff on her site, including video-captures of lots of psychic friends hugging.
SELF PORTRAIT WITH SIX PEOPLE I KNOW, ARRANGED IN EPISTEMOLOGICAL ORDER
from that same Cathy Davies site i was just telling you about. see? good stuff. the web needs more things like this--not exactly like this, but interesting like this.
NCSA Mosaic- what's new for June 1993
look at all the schools and companies that are putting up those newfangled web servers. this hypermedia thing might just catch on.
and check these other uses of hypertext--for example, a star trek fan got the bright idea to make a website about the show. seems like a lot of work, but who knows, maybe a few other star trek fans will follow suit.
fbi's 10 most wanted fugitives
photos, bios, etc. yes.
The Ultraville Klaxon
Another 'not The Onion' site. anytime you see a funny fake news site now, you have to say, 'as funny as The Onion,' or 'almost as funny as The Onion.' The Onion is the funny fake news benchmark. So...this one's funny, but not as funny as The Onion. Great gif animation of the George Washington bridge. Plus an article on the recently-discovered 'Best Hug Ever!'
hey that's 2 hug things today. it's hug day at misterpants.com. happy hug day.
oh yeah, i thought i was done, but also Zombie Weather forecast is kind of good.
okay, but now i don't want to look at any more. so if there's more funny stuff here, you have to find it yourself.
|romance toilet paper|
i could probably have a whole column called "japanese toilet stuff". there is a brand of toilet paper called, "romance". that's the brand they have available at work. also at work, heated toilet seats. awww yeah.
i keep getting badgered about these.
where are all the haiku? (haikus?) how come there are no haiku up there? when are you gonna put up some haiku?
enough already. now finally, they are here. please leave me in peace.
these are based on recent email i've received.
seeking some A+ players.
for cutting edge work.
secured 2 million
within 72 hours,
e-commerce web site.
jerry springer's bio|
it's a pretty old bio, "...'Ringmaster,' his first book due to hit store shelves in November 1998." but still kind of interesting. how did this guy go from being one of "Senator Robert F. Kennedy's presidential campaign aides" and Cincinnati mayor to host of a show with topics like "I Did My Own Sex Change"?
[i followed a link from the metascene weblog to get here.]
i don't know if people are following this site at all, but there's lot of cool new stuff up here. like this.
ABC | viva stella
cool-looking flash thing. this was posted to some list i'm on so maybe it's making the rounds and you've already seen it. i thought it looked cool. dunno what it's about.
cibo matto lyrics
so i've had the album "Viva Woman" for a long time--over a year. i finally got around to reading the lyrics and was surprised how much i'd been missing. they're so awesome. really poetic in an English-as-a-second-language way.
My baby horse is Jennifer
What a beefy hip!
She has a fine coat of fur
What shiny hair!
Fancy Diet with Announcer, Sekine
it's the '97/'98 diet report of Asahi Broadcasting Company TV announcer Sekine. Every week in Sekine's Report she told us her new weight and some little note like "About Sekine's spandex" or "Like a Crazy Clown". Also includes the bookstore method for constipation relief.
billybee honey compulsion story
this is pretty funny. i'm sure you all know andrew who does be nice to bears and the pitas project that has everyone all a-flutter, and maybe you've even seen eggpost. well, in the latest eggpost, he mentioned this article which he wrote for smug a long time ago about eating honey right from the pointy head of the little plastic bear. good stuff. made me laugh out loud in my quiet office. also made me moan out loud, craving that sweet, sweet honey. here i go again. moaning. maybe no one will know which cubicle it's coming from.
okay, i thought this was kind of interesting. i was in this big 7-person meeting yesterday. (the same meeting would have been a much-less formal 2-person meeting in the US, i'm pretty sure.)
and the big boss guy pretty much fell asleep near the end of it. and apparently the cross-cultural business books say that this will happen. it's not rude and doesn't mean the person isn't paying attention. basically, the head guy can close his eyes--it shows that he's concentrating really hard.
and i guess this guy didn't really full-on fall asleep because he'd have some comment to make every once in a while. he'd start making a comment, and then would open his eyes. the effect of this was to make him look like he was an oracle, receiving advice from the the great beyond. which maybe that was the intended effect.
instead of paying attention, or closing my eyes, i wrote this palindrome:
We are all in a van. Go lab! Regard a baseline straw. Wart senile's a bad rager. Balogna vanilla era--ew!
Osaka live music photos|
you should check some of this stuff out because some it is really great and crazy. Stefan has been photographing live music in Osaka for the past year. i went with him to see Bathtub Shitter and Coa which are grindcore bands. I've never much gotten into grindcore. (Except Napalm Death. Gosh everyone loves Napalm Death.) But this was a really good show. The venue (Bears) was the size of a suburban kitchen. 30 or 40 people were present. Coa means "fear" or "nervousness" and of course Bathtub Shitter needs no translation.
Also Sicking Mother Fucking Kodoku performed. He fumbled around on stage in an awesome alien head mask and then sang over a weird mix tape. his performance was so strange and brilliant.
other good show pictures to check out:
the thought shop
some of the 'Dynamic Poetry' stuff is interesting. most of it needs shockwave. i think some of the traditional poetry is not bad--and usually i don't enjoy poetry at all, because i'm so shallow. [from Katherine]
characters from japan
speaking of Katherine, you should check out her page of photos of characters from Japan--like the frog umbrella and the real estate bee.
i have lots of weird crazy mix-up stories about moving to japan, but maybe those belong on their own section. i dunno how i'm gonna do that yet.
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sounds so much more severe in german.
if it starts with "achtung," you know it's going to be bad news.
i had a weird stress dream the other night. in it i was riding escalators up to the 8th floor of a mall. and i was thinking that the top floor is considered the 'shopping heaven'. and these escalators were really tricky; no guard rails, so you could easily plummet to the ground floor.