What will be sent in pantsmail: well, friend, have you ever had your computer crash because your inbox was overflowing with joy?

Topics change every issue and don't make very much sense, but here's a bullet-pointed list of items that have previously been covered:

• Plans on how to disrupt and dispirit the band members of a Christian rock band by playing the part of Satan too well on the set of their video.
  
  
• Drawing llamas for fun and profit.
  
  
• Advice on how to spice up a wedding by bringing a van full of dogs.
  
  
• A dream about Sammy Davis, Jr. in a helicopter.
  
  
• Kittycat personals. "Single, neutered, gray male tabby seeks 5-7 year old female for games with string and hot scratching post action." That kind of thing.
  
  
• Just kidding about kittycat personals.
  
  

Oh, hey, why not browse through the archives?

In short...

What I can promise you: sporadic, pointless email.

What I can't promise you: success in romantic endeavors; temporary relief from minor indigestion; sporadic, pointless email that you will actually want to read.