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<title>mr pants mr pants mr pants pants pants</title>
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<copyright>Copyright 2005</copyright>
<lastBuildDate>October  9, 2005 01:00 AM</lastBuildDate>
<pubDate>October  9, 2005 01:00 AM</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Get well soon, sick foot</title>
<description>
<![CDATA[

This poor, ailing foot has three feet in total, but he's so sick he needs crutches to use them. It's both sad and ironic.<BR><BR>

I wonder if there are more faces on this foot's little feet. And if those feet have feet that have faces (that have feet that have faces that have feet...). And if so, how do those feet-faces feel? Fine, I hope.<BR><BR>

Also, is the bright red big toe the malady itself, or merely a symptom? It's not clear to a layperson, which is why we need podiatrists.<BR><BR>

When this foot feels better, will he be happier? He will be healthier, but presumably when all is as it should be, his sole-based face will be getting walked on. Would you rather be sick or have your face walked on, foot?<BR><BR>

I want faces on my feet. Not fake drawn-on faces like I just did, but real faces who will talk to me. If the feet-faces don't mind being walked on, and we all get along pretty well, there's no good reason not to have faces on your feet.
<BR><BR>

You're never lonely if you have faces on your feet. That's an old saying. Hey, look, it's a pullquote.
<BR><BR>

I'm sorry I drew attention to the pullquote. it's pretentious already to even have a pullquote that you yourself wrote--like, "hey, check out these especially delicious <i>bon mots</I> of mine." Then to get self-referential on top that. Oh, man. It's embarrassing!<BR><BR>


Anyway, that's not what I'm here to tell you. You got me all sidetracked.<BR><BR>

What I wanted to tell you is that I made you some spaghetti, in the form of this weblog. And I put it up. And then a month ago, I moved it to a new, cheaper, better web hosting service. So I untangled the spaghetti, packed it back into it's cardboard box, and then moved it and tried to reconstitute it over here on the new server for you.<BR><BR>

But it's not working yet. Well, I got most of the spaghetti back in place, but--MoveableType isn't working. (The spaghetti metaphor became cumbersome, so I dropped it. Just like that. I mean, would MoveableType be the sauce, the pot, the boiling water, or the stove? Who cares?) My point is that I haven't gotten MoveableType working yet, so any updates in the near future are being done by hand, like this one.

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<pubDate>October  9, 2005 01:00 AM</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>the radiolarien rap</title>
<description>
<![CDATA[

<a href="http://www.biologie.uni-hamburg.de/b-online/radio/"></a>
ravishingly resplendent radiolaria







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<![CDATA[

<a href="http://www.biologie.uni-hamburg.de/b-online/radio/"><b>Ernst Haeckel: Die Radiolarien, 1862</b></a><br>
Scanned in for your enjoyment, beautiful radiolaria illustrations.



<a href="http://pillow-pal.net/"><b>pillow pal</b></a><br>
This holster will prove useful, attached snugly to your mattress; whether its for your handgun, your stun gun, or your aerosol chemical agent.<br><br>Better yet: get 3 pillow pals--one for each.



<a href="http://members.aol.com/ProfQuater/Fun.html"><b>Werner Von Wallenrod's big page of novelty rap records</b></a><br>
It's funny how interesting it is to read about these records which you would probably never ever want to listen to.<br><br>

Wayne and Charlie (The Rapping Dummy), who released an album on Sugarhill Records in 1981, also won the Most Fascinating Novelty Rap Artist Award, which is an award that I made up just right now.<br><br>

I don't spend a lot of time reading the 'help wanted' section, but I do know that there are very few opportunities out there for ventriloquist rappers, no matter how talented they are. So kudos to Wayne (and Charlie) for making a go of it.
<br><br>
And I love the idea of ventriloquists throwing down rhymes where they boast about their ventriloquism skills.<br><br>

I hope that at least one time it happened in our world that there was a ventriloquist dummy rap battle. I don't hope that that rap battle ended in a dummy versus dummy knife fight, but I do find it to be an engaging mental image.
<br><br>

By the way, I should warn you that when you visit that web page,  it  plays the sped-up loop of Roger Miller's "Whistle Stop" (made famous by The Hamster Dance). I guess it's an appropriate enough background to a page about novelty rap. Because it's irritating.



<a href="http://www.tvparty.com/recholmes.html"><b>TV Party: Holmes & Yo-Yo</b></a><br>
Short-lived comedic crime fighting robotic buddy cop TV show from 1976.<br><br>

Watching this show helped prepare young Americans for the future in ways that learning the metric system did not.







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<![CDATA[

<b>another fun thing for big foot to be holding: kittens</b><br>
Except he's not carrying them.<br><br>

Bigfoot is lying on top of overstuffed fluffy pink comforter on a heart-shaped bed. The room he's in is outfitted in mostly pink and white, with unicorn posters and rainbows and glittery stars and things, like it's maybe an elementary school girl's room.<br><br>

And bigfoot's on the bed, covered with a dozen frollicking kittens. The kittens are rolling all over and bumping into each other and bigfoot can't stop laughing.<br><br>


[Thanks Tracy!]








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<pubDate>August  6, 2005 03:45 AM</pubDate>
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<title>Tom Cruise&apos;s e-meter</title>
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<![CDATA[


<a href="http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/gossip/tom-cruise/index.php"><b>Defamer: Tom Cruise watch</b></a><br>
With nothing to promote at the moment, Tom Cruise is presumably back to just being insane in private. But wasn't that fun, a little while ago, watching him implode and explode at the same time?<br><br>

I'll bet if you read his e-meter, it's probably always pegged at 'super crazy.'
<br><br>

(That joke is too easy. I'll bet over 1000 people have already made the Tom Cruise e-meter = crazy joke. I promise that someday I will spend an entire afternoon working on a better Tom Cruise e-meter joke.)*<br><br>

*Actually I won't.
<br><br>

The whole thing was like  watching a train wreck and then watching that train back up and wreck again. And then again. And again.<br><br>

And the bad acting Scientological fakey-love part was just fantastic.<br><br>

Anyway, to get my TC fix a while back, I was checking out <a href="http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/gossip/tom-cruise/index.php">this page on the Defamer</a> almost daily. I'm hoping it will get fun again either when "Mission: Impossible 3" comes out or when his career is declared dead and he has to attempt a resuscitory press tour.



<a href="http://www.ghilliesuits.com/index.asp?PageAction=Custom&ID=3
"><b>Ghillie suits</b></a><br>
Ghillie suits make you look sort of like a bigfoot. With a gun.<br><br>

Also Bigfoot with a Gun would be a great album title. Or comic. Or humorous horror movie.<br><br>

"Oh my God, it's bigfoot. And he's got a gun!"<br><br>

That makes me wonder: what is the funniest thing that bigfoot could carry? An oversized lollipop? An 80s jambox? How about a deflated Bozo the Clown punching bag--and bigfoot is crying? Maybe a Starbucks grande latte and a copy of the Wall Street Journal--and he's got reading glasses on but is otherwise naked. (Well, you know, fur-covered.)<br><br>

I can't decide. Thinking of bigfoot with that lollipop makes me laugh out loud, though.

<a href="http://www.ghilliesuits.com/index.asp?PageAction=Custom&ID=24">Wonderful.</a>
<br><br>

[Thanks, <a href="http://whimsyland.com/">Joel</a>.]




<a href="http://web.mit.edu/adorai/timetraveler/"><b>Time Traveler Convention</b></a><br>
If you can invent a time machine,  then you didn't miss the Time Traveler Convention.

<br><br>

[Thanks, <a href="http://one38.org">Zobrax</a>]


<a href="http://www.regrettheerror.com/"><b>regrettheerror.com</b></a><br>

Fascinating retraction blog: <br><br>

<i>Regret The Error reports on corrections, retractions, clarifications and trends regarding accuracy and honesty in the media.</i><br><br>


[Thanks, <a href="http://chisa.org">Chisato</a>.]























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<![CDATA[

<b>I seriously did have a baby</b><br>
Seriously.<br><br>

A few people have written  to say something like, "if you really did have a baby, then congratulations." I did actually have a baby. Not me, myself, because I am a boy, but you understand how these things work.<br><br>

My baby is a little girl named Mika. She is two months old and awesome. Of course. She already knows a great deal about bigfoot. 























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<pubDate>July 21, 2005 11:50 AM</pubDate>
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<![CDATA[
<a href="http://misterpants.com/cam/index.html"></a>
live! pantscam!








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<![CDATA[

<a href="http://misterpants.com/cam/index.html"><b>Please join me in celebrating the glorious return of bigfoot pants cam.</b></a><br>Just a few of you are old enough to remember <a href="http://misterpants.com/cam/bestofcam/index.html">the original pants cam</a> from the early 1970s. It was the first webcam on first computer ever built on the original test interent. It's true. This new one isn't breaking nearly so many records, but is certain to win your heart.








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<![CDATA[

<b>bullet list of other news from the past 2-months...</b><br>

Lots of bigfoot happenings, lately. It's wonderful. And thank you, everyone, who has taken a moment to inform me of these things.

<br><br>

I still don't have cable television, but am downloading and watching The Daily Show pretty much every day, which is great, plus lots of awesome British TV that is too good for America.

<br><br>

I ate some homemade blueberry waffles topped with Nutella, which that has to be the #1 best ever food combination ever.

<br><br>

Had a baby. In order to tell you this, I'm breaking this site's editorial guideline of not delivering very much personal information to the peoples of the internets. Luckily, the other editorial policy of usually not being sincere makes the news somewhat less credible and therefore a less flagrant violation of rule number one. As does the ongoing self-critique as the information is being delivered, like when I point out that the baby news was presented as the fourth item in a bulleted list which also includes bigfoot, television and waffles? Well, see, that's exactly the sort of thing I have to do to get around the stringent editorial rules.

<br><br>
Expect sporadic updates for the next 18 to 25 years.








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<pubDate>June 24, 2005 03:00 PM</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>astronaut cyborg bigfoot alien robot</title>
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<![CDATA[

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<![CDATA[

<a href="http://www.google.com/search?q=astronaut+cyborg+bigfoot+aliens+robot"><b>google search: astronaut cyborg bigfoot alien robot</b></a><br>
I was googling "astronaut cyborg bigfoot alien robot" as I do every Saturday and was surprised to see this very site show up as the #2 result.
<br><br>

And, as  it turns out, the number one astronaut cyborg bigfoot alien robot site is the <a href="http://www.sexuality.org/l/fetish/robofaq.html">alt.sex.fetish.robots FAQ</a> which actually contains an interesting list of robots on television and movies--from <i>Metropolis</i> to <i>Heartbeeps</i> to <i>Superman III</i> to <i>Stepford Wives</i>.<br><br>

I noticed that <i>Short Circuit</i> is not listed. Apparently, no one is fantasizing about Johnny 5.<br><br>

Oh, wait. <a href="http://www.musicforamerica.org/node/70989?res=original">Never mind.</a><br><br>

Here are some questions asked and answered by the FAQ. The obvious: <i><a href="http://www.sexuality.org/l/fetish/robofaq.html#Q-YOU">Q-You mean you want to have sex with robots? Why?</a></i><br><br>
and the less obvious:<br><br>
<i><a href="http://www.sexuality.org/l/fetish/robofaq.html#frozen">Q-What about scenes where people are frozen, paralyzed, or become statues? How about mannequins? Are they appropriate here too?</a> <br><br>
A-Of course...</br></br></i><br><br>

This question was not addressed in the FAQ:<br><br>

<i>Q - What about having sex with one of those robot dogs? Would that be considered beastiality?</i><br><br>

So if you need to know that information, go elsewhere. Try your local library or Radio Shack.<br><br>

The FAQ author goes on to explain how the monotone TV robot voice can be sexy, and then fantasizes about <a href="http://performingarts.net/Shafman/Shields/">Shields and Yarnell</a> starring in mime-robot pornography.<br><br>

Maybe I should try to keep writing about mime-robot pornography until I get some mime-robot pornography google ads.<br><br>

All this robot sex talk is probably going to make the google robot think that I am flirting with it.<br><br>

And so what if I am. Is that so bad? It's not like I'd expect a better search ranking or  anything if we hooked up. Although, if we started going out, that would be kind of weird if my search ranking didn't change just a little. You know? Like, maybe it's some sort of overcompensating reverse-favoritism.<br><br>

And that would just make me wonder about the google robot's commitment to our relationship. Nothing's really wrong but this is sort of typical. Why can't it communicate better? Just tell me what you're thinking, google robot--it would make our lives so much easier!<br><br>

I guess we just need to spend a little time away from each other--not breaking up, just a break.<br><br>

By the way, here's a Wikipedia entry similar to the alt.sex.robots.fetish list: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fictional_robots_and_androids">fictional robots and androids</a>. This is just a list of robots--not necessarily a list of robots to have sex with. That is to say: the people who made this wikipedia entry may or may not want to have sex with these robots.<br><br>




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<pubDate>April 16, 2005 01:26 PM</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>more, better bigfoot</title>
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<![CDATA[

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<![CDATA[

<a href="http://www.gis.net/%7escatt/clavilux/clavilux.html"><b>Thomas Wilfred and His Clavilux</b></a>
Here's an early twentieth century machine for playing metamorphing streams of light as one would play music on a record player.<br><br>

In a parallel universe where television was never invented, people sit around after dinner and watch the Clavilux; in fact, the average American watches about 4 hours of Clavilux per day. They have to watch at least that much because it's the law, as decreed by the president. And in this parallel universe, the president of the United States is Bill Cosby. Well, not president, exactly, more like fascist totalitarian ruler.<br><br>

It's a strange universe; aside from the Clavilux, it's not recommended.




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<![CDATA[

<b>look who's here!</b><br>
I finally did it! The bigfoot ads have arrived. I don't know what took them so long, but wow, I was really excited to see them. Sometimes you work really hard at something and when you're just about to give up, when you finally think there's no hope... success wanders by, big hairy success.<br><br>

It's inspirational, the story of the bigfoot google ads on misterpants dot com. I have to remember to tell it to Tony Robbins when he comes over to watch Desperate Housewives.<br><br>

The ads sometimes rotate out, in favor of rash medicine, ghost data, and UFO services, but then they come back. Some of the bigfoot ads are for bigfoot-related media. Others are for products or services that just happen to have bigfoot in their name. And there's one I've seen for a bigfoot costume.<br><br>

This is a fairly wide range of information that relates to the actual bigfoot in very different ways. Sometimes we study him. Sometimes we name our business or product after him. And sometimes we pretend to be him.
<br><br>

It's all good.<br><br>

I do feel a little bit of pressure now to not write about things I don't want to see ads for. Like last week's entry about podcasting. I'm not sure if google ads are smart enough to know the difference between "podcasting rules!" and "Podcasting is a loathsome term." Anyway, now I've gone and tempted fate by using the much-reviled word three more times in this paragraph.<br><br>

Well, not <i>fate</i> really. Rather, I've tempted the detached, calculating google robot, which is quite a different thing from fate altogether, isn't it? Or maybe fate is mechanized and methodical as well. I guess I don't necessarily know fate's character. I suppose it's quite fickle--sometimes surprisingly generous while at other times cruel and dismissive.<br><br>

Ah, fate, the Google ads make me ponder your nature.




<b>more, better bigfoot</b><br>
Hey, do you know <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073677/">the two-part episode of the 6 Million Dollar Man where he battles Bigfoot</a>?<br><br>


You should know it because Bigfoot versus The Bionic Man was arguably* the greatest  televised moment of the entire 1970s. (* For instance, if you told Evel Knievel this, he would argue with you.)
<br><br>

In the 1950s, American television gave us Edward R. Murrow dramatically taking down Joseph McCarthy and putting the brakes on The Red Scare.<br><br>

In the 60s TV gave us the Apollo Moon Landing. Very exciting.<br><br>

But only 7 short years later, another astronaut (and cyborg), Colonel Steve Austin, would demonstrate a more terrestrial bravery by doing battle with bigfoot.<br><br>

As a hipster bonus, Bigfoot was played by Andre the Giant.
<br><br>

I don’t want to spoil it for those who haven’t seen it, but the secret truth about that specific Bigfoot is going to absolutely blow your mind.


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<pubDate>April 14, 2005 11:01 AM</pubDate>
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<title>bigfoot lincoln</title>
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<![CDATA[


<a href="http://www.classiclincolns.com/sbt/sbt5.html"><b>bigfoot lincoln</b></a><br>
I know what you're thinking. And what you're thinking is awesome. But this is not that. This is awesome too. But it's a different thing, awesome in a different way.<br><br>

[Thanks, <a href="http://www.spidercamp.com">Jessica</a>.]

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<![CDATA[

<b>new awful buzzword watch: podcasting</b><br>
It's taken five years, but finally a neologism has come along to edge "blog" out of its long-standing position in my brain as #1 most hated word. I find both terms to be smug, nerdy, and disharmonious.<br><br>

It's my issue. I know.<br><br>


P.S. Did you notice how this site had a flurry of posts a little while ago then a sudden, prolonged inactivity? I know it happens a lot--well, not the flurry part, but the inactivity. Do you mind if I tell you about why it happened this time?<br><br>

Okay. Here's what happened: this is true; I was on penicillin and then I suddenly became allergic to it. And my own skin turned against me.
<br><br>
My skin got mad at the penicillin and took it out on me. It was just hating me. And it (my skin) decided it also hated even the tiniest amount of warmth, but that it loved being itchy and red.<br><br>

So that happened and it was unpleasant, but then, after an accidental antihistamine overdose and some sleepless nights and some confusion and some other dramatic things, I'm all better now.
<br><br>

The End.<br><br>

P.P.S. By the way, I do have more to say about bigfoot even though I'm not saying it right this second.<br><br>

Also, I would like to point out that my attempt to coax the google ads into addressing the needs of the bigfoot product buying public continues to not work at all.<br><br>

Although the google ads have not been amenable to my suggestions, I've found them to be very enjoyable--much more so than I ever would have expected. Thanks to the google ads, I now know way more about alien abduction. For example, did you know that aliens are our space brothers?



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<pubDate>April  6, 2005 01:24 AM</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>robologo</title>
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<![CDATA[
<a href="http://www.robocoparchive.com/info/logos.htm"></a>
RoboCop logos: RoboCop, RoboCop, RoboCop 2, Robocop, OCP, OCP, OCP, OCP, OCP.


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<![CDATA[

<a href="http://www.robocoparchive.com/info/logos.htm"><b>The RoboCop logos
</b></a><br><i>"A list of all the different RoboCop and OCP logos created for the various movies, tv series, comics and games."</i><br><br>

Well collected, Mr. Obsessive Collector. Thank you!
<br><br>

Also, watch the movie RoboCop to see the problems caused by privatizing the Detroit Police: a conflict of interest in the form of RoboCop's secret prime directive.<br><br>

Privatizing Social Security won't cause that problem, but will likely cause the problem of old people having to eat cat food.



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<![CDATA[
<b>brief bigfoot breather</b>
<br>
Do we need a break from bigfoot already? I still have more of the crazy bigfoot jibber-jabber in me, but maybe we need to catch our breath with regards to this particular topic.



<b>google ads update</b>
<br>
So far, the Google ads are earning somewhere in the $.90 per day range. That's with like 8% click-throughs, which I'm told is very high for such things. So in the near future, when things mellow out, I expect to earn something closer to $.09 per day.<br><br>

In short: I have managed to  monetize Misterpants mouseclicks. And Misterpants mouseclick monetization is  meager. Markedly meager.




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<pubDate>March 23, 2005 02:51 AM</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>bigfoot. great big scary bigfoot.</title>
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<![CDATA[

<a href="http://www.beckjord.com/bigfoot/"><b>The Bigfoot Investigative Project</b></a><br>
I love this quote: <i>
"We are the Galileo, Louis Pasteur,Wright Bros, Columbus of the Bigfoot world."</i><br><br>

It is tough to be a genius not understood in your time, but such is the burden of The Bigfoot Investigative Project.<br><br>


TBIP was jailed for heretical beliefs--specifically that bigfoot revolves around the Earth, and not the other way around.<br><br>

TBIP's experiments with microscopes led them to formulate a bigfoot theory of disease. This work ultimately resulted in vaccines that prevent many bigfoot-spread illnesses.<br><br>

At Kitty Hawk, The Bigfoot Investigative Project built the first heavier-than-air flying bigfoot, the principles of which are still the basis for the design of our modern day flying bigfoots.<br><br>

Finally with the financial support of Queen Isabella of Spain, TBIP attempted to find a sea route to Asia which would allow traders to bypass the hostile Ottoman Empire. Although they failed in this endeavor, they did find themselves in territories unclaimed by a sovereign Christian nation; TBIP claimed these lands for Spain and then proceeded to enslave the local bigfoots  for the purpose of building settlements.

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<![CDATA[

<b>
Bigfoot and me</b><br>
I am very serious about getting the bigfoot advertising going, so now I will tell you this true information: as a kid, I was very afraid of bigfoot.<br><br>

There was a bigfoot movie, the preview of which, showed bigfoot reaching in and pulling a woman's hair as she was showering. I'm not sure which Bigfoot film it was. (If you happen to know, please email me.) I don't think it  was <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0124307/">The Capture of Bigfoot</a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074365/">The Curse of Bigfoot</a> or even plain old <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065470/">Bigfoot</a>.
<br><br>

Whatever movie it was, that particular scene in that particular film trailer with that particular hairy monster scared me a great deal.<br><br>

After seeing that, whenever we went on family vacations, I needed to be repeatedly reassured that we were not traveling in a part of the country where the bigfoots are.<br><br>

You  might think that the bigfoot fear would be a relatively easy enough fear for parents to allay, but somehow mine were not very convincing.<br><br>

They gave me non-committal answers. Instead of simply telling me that there are no bigfoots around here, they'd say, "I'm not sure, but I don't think so."<br><br>

Now I'm certainly not entitled to be giving anyone parenting advice, least of all my own parents whose jobs I did not make easy even without counting the host of irrational cryptozoological fears, of which the bigfoot fear is really just the tip of the iceberg.<br><br>

Still, it seems like a simple "no, there are no bigfoots here" would have done the trick. And even in bigfoot country, the low odds of me actually spotting a bigfoot and thereby catching my parents in a lie would seem to make that response a pretty safe choice.<br><br>

Here's the reason I'm bringing this up: if there are any publishers out there reading this, please disregard what I said about not being qualified to give parenting advice and contact me regarding my book idea: <i>How to Talk to Your Children about Bigfoot</i>.<br><br>

Coincidentally, the likelihood of a publisher reading this site is equal to the likelihood of a bigfoot reading this site.

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<pubDate>March 22, 2005 04:15 AM</pubDate>
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<title>Jerusalem Cricket meets bigfoot</title>
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<a href="http://wwwstd.enmu.edu/pollockd/invertebrateofthemonth.html"><b>Congratulations to Jerusalem Cricket, the invertebrate of the month</b></a><br>
I'm a fan of jerusalem cricket, myself, and am not at all surprised to learn that it  won invertebrate of the month--narrowly beating planarian and sea cucumber.<br><br>

It's a big and crazy bug and I found one in my backyard. Although it's non-aggressive, if provoked, the jerusalem cricket may use its powerful jaws to deliver a painful bite. I found that interesting because the same is true for me.<br><br>

<a href="http://kaweahoaks.com/html/jerusalem_cricket.html">More great photos are here</a>, but some misleading info about the cricket's ferociousness.<br><br>

<a href="http://images.google.com/images?q=jerusalem%20cricket&hl=en&lr=&c2coff=1&safe=off&client=safari&rls=en-us&sa=N&tab=wi">Anyway, hooray for Jerusalem Cricket!</a>



<a href="http://www.texasbigfoot.com"><b>Texas Bigfoot Reseach Center</b></a><br>
It turns out lots of people are pretty serious about bigfoot. These folks have a conference just about every year.<br><br>

I like their site because it has pretty good professional-looking bigfoot illustrations, as well as <a href="http://www.texasbigfoot.com/sketches.html">these more amateur sketches</a> which are really fun too.<br><br>

Please also look at these <a href="http://www.texasbigfoot.com/Photo1.html">conference photos</a>, which I love, especially this <a href="http://www.texasbigfoot.com/Fouke2.html">series</a>.<br><br>

Also, <a href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/store.aspx?s=texasbigfoot">Texas Bigfoot Research Center Christmas ornaments</a> make a great gift any time of year.



<a href="http://www.bigfootsounds.com"><b>bigfootsounds.com</b></a><br>
Lots of recordings of <a href="http://www.bigfootsounds.com/cdscriptpart1.asp">bigfoot sounds</a> recorded deep in the woods and captured on 2 CDs.<br><br>
Elsewhere, you can hear the <a href="http://www.bfro.net/AVEVID/MJM/ohrec.asp">Ohio Howl</a>, recorded in 1994, supposedly the howl of a bigfoot.<br><br>

Maybe the spookiest bigfoot sound is this <a href="http://www.bfro.net/avevid/SierraSounds/911.asp#911">911 call</a> from Washington state.



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<![CDATA[

<b>google ad data</b><br>
So far the google ads are raking in about $.60 per day.<br><br>

Jealous? Well, if I see you in the street, I'll be sure to have my driver pull over and let you in so that we can enjoy some caviar together and then wash it down with a champagne toast to my good fortune. <br><br>

Alien abduction prevention, remote-viewing, and macaroni salad continue to be the product categories of interest to readers of this site, by Google's reckoning. I hope that they're correct and that you really are a bunch of macaroni eaters who fear alien abduction.<br><br>

As I write this, bigfoot-related merchandise has yet to make an appearance, although today's entry may change that.<br><br>

Obviously, we can get into a problem area when advertising drives the content. 
<br><br>

Critics will say that I'm pandering to the bigfoot advertisers. And they'll be absolutely correct.<br><br>

I'm definitely going out of my way to make this site more bigfoot-advertising friendly.<br><br>




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<pubDate>March 21, 2005 01:27 AM</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>the pants sell out</title>
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<![CDATA[
<a href="http://www.yesterland.com/eo.html"></a>M.J. as E.O.

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<![CDATA[


<a href="http://www.yesterland.com/eo.html"><b>Captain Eo</b></a><br>
Wow, Francis Ford Coppola directed Captain Eo. Did I know that? I don't think I knew that.

<br><br>
With current affairs what they are, Eo seems unlikely to be resurrected anytime soon. Plus, if you read the <a href="http://www.intercot.com/edc/Imagination/eo.html">script</a>, the movie/experience seems like it might be kind of terrible.


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<![CDATA[

<b>I already sold out a long time ago but am now selling out again so let me draw attention to it right here</b><br>

As you may notice over there on the right, I'm trying out the Google ads thing.<br><br>

 After a little while, I may decide to scrap it, which is within  my limited rights to do, according to Google's contract.<br><br>

I have no idea if the cost/benefit of ads will be worth it to misterpants dot com. I kind of doubt it. Google very clearly refuses to tell you how much you get paid per click-through. They say something like, "the best way to find out how much money you will make is to try it for a month."<br><br>

It's like going to a job interview and being told, "The best way to find out what your salary will be is to work for us for a month and see what we give you."<br><br>

Anyway, I'm not excited about advertising in general, as readers of the site may know by now that as much as I appreciate it and it's part of my life, I do on some levels hate advertising, and now here I am making a new space for advertising on one of the few places where I can actually control and prevent it from being there.<br><br>

Plus, I honestly do believe that part of the problem in the world right now, and America in particular, is that people buy too much crap. Ad-sponsored media as a system has some blame for this, because while the media can theoretically express a relatively wide range of opinions, it cannot easily say "buy less crap" as it's a kind of buzzkill for the advertising which it depends on for funding.<br><br>

So media-viewers are encouraged to overconsume to the detriment of our lives and our planet. (I do realize that everyone over the age of 5 already knows this.)<br><br>

So, anyway, while I'm not into advertising in general or optimistic that this Google thing is going to be any sort of cash cow, I am actually curious what keywords they're going to find and sell because what this site is actually about is difficult to nail down, even for me.<br><br>

Right now the Google robot has decided it's Macaroni Salad recipes and Alien Merchandise. Which, that is awesome.<br><br>

I would also like to request ads for bigfoot/sasquatch data. I'm not going to ramble on and on about the hairy man-beast of the Pacific Northwest but hopefully these two sentences will do the trick.<br><br>

Anyway, the thing I'm really wondering is if the ads will generate enough money to defray the cost of hosting this site, which while not prohibitive is still annoyingly not free.<br><br>

Ultimately it's an experiment. As is life. And just like life, if it doesn't work out, you delete the javascript from the template file and move on.



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<pubDate>March 17, 2005 08:00 PM</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>195 years from now</title>
<description>
<![CDATA[
<a href="http://www.cmongethappy.com/2200/"></a>singing family in their colorful space bus

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<![CDATA[

<a href="http://www.cmongethappy.com/2200/"><b>Partridge Family, 2200 A.D.</b></a><br>
I'm worried that some people don't know about The Partridge Family, 2200 AD.<br><br>
It's not my #1 biggest worry, but it's up there.

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<![CDATA[

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<pubDate>March 15, 2005 10:56 AM</pubDate>
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<title>fussy pups &amp; latvian robot march</title>
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<a href="http://www.fussy.org/2004_06_01_archive.html#108665831042783208"><b>Fussy.org proudly presents a parade of pooches adorned in attractive attire</b></a><br>
This is my oldest unlinked-to link in my folder full of unlinked-to links. It's from June 2004.<br><br>

Lots has happened since then; for one thing, all of the hair that was on my head at that time is gone and has been replaced by new hair; I usually never think about that but I should.
<br><br> Let's all take a moment to say goodbye to our old hair, and hello to our new hair.



<a href="http://www.vkn.lv/index.php?parent=525"><b>Un ar reizi n&#257;
ks tas br&#299dis</b></a><br>
For all you animated Latvian stencil graffiti fans, here's some animated Latvian stencil graffiti.



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<![CDATA[

<b>macaroni and cheese burrito update</b>
<br>
Thanks to everyone who emailed suggestions on improving the mac-n-cheese-urrito.<br><br>

You're all probably correct that various ingredients adding spice or crunchiness or any sort of flavor counterpoint to the starchy simplicity of tortilla and macaroni would help the thing.
<br><br>

For now, however, the misterpants kitchen laboratory is shelving the project  in the hopes that a larger institution (Del Taco?) can find the funds necessary to complete the research and publish their findings in a peer-reviewed academic journal.



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<pubDate>March  9, 2005 12:12 PM</pubDate>
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<title>zhuzhou pics</title>
<description>
<![CDATA[
<a href="http://www.fuseki.net/china/zhuzhou.html"></a>

the other side of the river

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<![CDATA[

<a href="http://www.fuseki.net/china/zhuzhou.html"><b>Pictures of Zhuzhou, Hunan, China</b></a><br>When Ernie French was teaching English at Zhuzhou Technical University in Zhuzhou, Hunan, China; he took these huge, fascinating, screen-filling pictures. You will see: water and fog, construction and crowds, parcels and plastic garbage.



<a href="http://forums.gardenweb.com/forums/load/lab/msg1023003823686.html"><b>cat repellent discussion</b></a><br>
Tons of advice on how to convince the neighbors' cat to stop pooping in your yard.




<a href="http://www.sabadabada.com/music.htm"><b>Sabadabada!</b></a><br>
Using advanced mp3 technology, a collector shares his collection of Brazilian Bossa Nova, Balanco & Samba records from the 1960s.

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<![CDATA[

<b>mac-n-cheese-urrito</b><br>
I tried it. Simply: a flour tortilla wrapped around a macaroni and cheese dinner, as proposed last entry. To tell you the truth, it was not very good.<br><br>
But I still stand by the concept. 


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<pubDate>February 15, 2005 04:41 AM</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>jó szórakozást!</title>
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<![CDATA[
<a href="http://reklamok.gergoke.hu/"></a>
húzi, rugi, boogie

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<![CDATA[


<a href="http://reklamok.gergoke.hu/"><b>101 Hungarian ads from the 1980s</b></a><br>Pretty amazing clips. I think I actually downloaded and watched every single one of these, which, in retrospect, was maybe a little bit obsessive  on my part.<br><br>

Here are the ones I flagged as my favorites:


<br><br>

<a href="http://reklamok.gergoke.hu/videos/01_hurka.mpg">01_hurka.mpg</a><br>

<a href="http://reklamok.gergoke.hu/videos/03_bemeg.mpg">03_bemeg.mpg</a><br>

<a href="http://reklamok.gergoke.hu/videos/10_szuz_.mpg">10_szuz_.mpg</a><br>

<a href="http://reklamok.gergoke.hu/videos/11_s_mod.mpg">11_s_mod.mpg</a><br>

<a href="http://reklamok.gergoke.hu/videos/26_miss_.mpg">26_miss_.mpg</a><br>

<a href="http://reklamok.gergoke.hu/videos/27_marc_.mpg">27_marc_.mpg</a><br>


<a href="http://reklamok.gergoke.hu/videos/29_huzi_.mpg">29_huzi_.mpg</a><br>

<a href="http://reklamok.gergoke.hu/videos/41_nem_l.mpg">41_nem_l.mpg</a><br>

<a href="http://reklamok.gergoke.hu/videos/46_sebaj.mpg">46_sebaj.mpg</a><br>

<a href="http://reklamok.gergoke.hu/videos/66_vonza.mpg">66_vonza.mpg</a><br>

<a href="http://reklamok.gergoke.hu/videos/69_city_.mpg">69_city_.mpg</a><br>

<a href="http://reklamok.gergoke.hu/videos/71_marc_.mpg">71_marc_.mpg</a><br>

<a href="http://reklamok.gergoke.hu/videos/78_thoms.mpg">78_thoms.mpg</a><br>



<a href="http://reklamok.gergoke.hu/videos/86_queen.mpg">86_queen.mpg</a><br>

<a href="http://reklamok.gergoke.hu/videos/89_nyere.mpg">89_nyere.mpg</a>







<a href="http://www.writing.upenn.edu/~afilreis/88/cage-quotes.html"><b>John Cage quotations</b></a><br>
I almost incorrectly linked this to the Bank of America website. That would have been confusing.





<a href="http://aliensandchildren.org/index.html"><b>aliensandchildren.org</b></a><br><i>"This  website features a series of drawings made by children who  were abducted by aliens for the alien purpose of creating  a new race of alien/human hybrids."</i><br><br>

And <a href="http://www.stopabductions.com/">stopabductions.com</a> is a sister site to the above, which explains how to build a velostat thought screen helmet to block telepathic alien communication, thereby preventing alien abductions.<br><br>

Also, here is a <a href="http://www.stopabductions.com/gblHelp.htm">photo of an alien</a>.

<br><br>

[via  <a href="http://www.americanstate.org/">concerns of the american state</a> which has been added to the ever-evolving list of entertaining places on the misterpants <a href="http://misterpants.com/start/">start page</a>]



<a href="http://www.well.com/user/smalin/mamhist.htm"><b>History of the Music Animation Machine</b></a><br>
I think you are likely to enjoy <a href="http://www.well.com/user/smalin/download.html">these videos</a>.






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<![CDATA[

<b>another new (untested) culinary invention (by me)</b><br>
Now that the low-carb thing is officially on the way out, the world may be ready for this:<br><br>
macaroni and cheese burrito<br><br>

I thought of it about a week ago and have yet to assemble the ingredients (and the courage) to try it.



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<pubDate>January 21, 2005 02:31 AM</pubDate>
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<title>all sorts of things </title>
<description>
<![CDATA[
<a href="http://www.planetdan.net/junk/blessitt/index.htm"></a><br>
<i>"Naturally Stoned on Jesus"</i>
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<![CDATA[



<a href="http://www.planetdan.net/junk/blessitt/index.htm"><b>"Life's Greatest Trip" by Arthur Blessitt</b></a><br>
Take a groovy ride with Arthur Blessitt. His poems and stories will hip you to the psychedelic, mind-altering properties of Jesus Christ, man.<br><br>

And this is, like, far-out too: <i><a href="http://www.blessitt.com/hisplace.html">"During the 1960's Arthur Blessitt had a Jesus coffee house called "His Place" on Sunset Strip in Hollywood, California."</a></i><br><br>

But that's all in Arthur Blessitt's past. In the present, he's <a href="http://www.blessitt.com/history.html">walking around the world with a giant wooden cross</a>.<br><br>

And what does the future hold for Arthur Blessitt? Two words, my friend:<br><br>

<a href="http://www.blessitt.com/crossinspace/index.html">CROSS IN SPACE</a>.<br><br>

Oh wait. That's three words.

<br><br>
[Thanks, <a href="http://spidercamp.com">Jessica</a>]



<a href="http://www.planetdan.net/pics/miller5/"><b>the miller five (sometimes six)</b></a><br>

This, like the Life's Greatest Trip link, comes from <a href="http://www.planetdan.net/">PlanetDan</a>.






<a href="http://popstarr.tripod.com/v6_new.html"><b>The Mary Jane Girls vs. Vanity 6</b></a><br>
This musical battle deserves so much more than a mere Tripod page.
<br><br>
Here's a bonus Vanity factoid to put in your brainbone: in the early '90s, Vanity (now Evangelist Denise Matthews) became a born-again Christian and left the secular entertainment world for gospel music and Christian speaking gigs.






<a href="http://www.spenecial.com/babyface/index.htm"><b>Nethilia's collection of Baby Face dolls</b></a><br>
Cutescary. Scarycute? Cu-ary? Scar-ute? Cary? Scute?<br><br>

For maximum impact, go straight to the <a href="http://www.spenecial.com/babyface/indi.htm">individual shots</a> where

<i>"Laura blows you kissys!"</i>

<br><br>
[Thanks again, <a href="http://spidercamp.com">Jessica</a>]




<a href="http://www.deadmalls.com/"><b>deadmalls.com</b></a><br>
The <a href="http://www.deadmalls.com/features.html">features</a> about  dead malls are surprisingly interesting, especially those with photos.<br><br>

This is a good place to start your research if you're writing a musical about the rise and fall of a mall -- probably more helpful for the closing number, "Going Out of Business Sale" than the opening song, "(Have You Heard) A Mall is Coming."
<br><br>
In your musical, I think the mall is a metaphor for the American dream. "American Dream" could even be the name of the mall but that's probably too on-the-nose. Maybe something like "Eagle Spirit Mall" or "New Hope Mall."




<a href="http://www.satanslaundromat.com/sl/"><b>Satan's Laundromat</b></a><br>
Excellent NY-based photo-weblog. Please, don't make me say "photoblog."<br><br>

You will like

<a href="http://www.satanslaundromat.com/sl/archives/000453.html">Imitation chicken: presidents</a>
and 

<a href="http://www.satanslaundromat.com/sl/archives/000452.html">
Imitation chicken: states</a>.



<a href="http://www.sharpeworld.com/balloon_man/"><b>Balloon Man</b></a><br>
<i>"SharpeWorld presents a CD of newly unearthed early 70s recordings by cable access cult hero Bill Morrison.
"</i><br><br>
For sale: CDs of 40 one-minute monologues recorded in 1971. Should be filed under 'humor' but cross-indexed with 'crazy rants.'
<br><br>
Also, look at the <a href="http://www.sharpeworld.com/balloon_man/photos_landing.html">Balloon Man gallery</a> and <a href="http://www.sharpeworld.com/balloon_man/about_landing.html">read the Balloon Man articles</a> kindly provided to you by the Sharpeworld staff.




<a href="http://www.sfweekly.com/issues/2004-12-22/news/infiltrator.html"><b>Harmon Leon: Onward Christian Ex-Gays</b></a><br>
I'm not sure about the ethics of infiltrating a support group, but it's done now, so there it is. And it's pretty funny in several parts, so maybe that makes it okay.<br><br>
The Christian ex-gays presented here are pretty sad. The Christian anti-gay crusaders are of course infuriating and a little bit sad but also funny.
<br><br>

You remember <a href="http://www.misterpants.com/library/harmonleon/">Harmon Leon</a>, yes?<br><br>

[Thanks, Zinger.]

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<![CDATA[

<b>Links! Links! Links!</b><br>
You want links? We've got 'em! It's a year-end link clearance, here at Mister Pants Dot Com. Link Blow Out! Link-a-palooza! Happy New Year! Come and get your links.

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<pubDate>December 30, 2004 09:24 AM</pubDate>
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