05.31.99 Gary Coleman chat transcript

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homunculus run
odd. cool. one-page wonder.

05.30.99 monkey rabbit
wow! from the photo gallery of yesterday's monkey site. dunno how i missed it.!

i ate corn 3 days in a row. that almost never happens.
They list the Top 100 food companies in a weird industry article from a year ago. the crazy part is the list of the brands different food companies own. You should check out Philip Morris' huge list, which contains, among others: Alpha-Bits, Cheez Wiz, Kool-Aid, Miracle Whip, Tang, and Velveeta.

Pepsico owns 7Up, Mountain Dew, and Slice. Which is convenient because they all taste exactly the same.

Not to be outdone, The Coca-Cola Co. owns Citra, Fresca, Mello Yello, Sprite, and Surge.

what we need now are 75 more identical clear carbonated citrus sugar water drinks and even more ads with teenage boys skateboarding off of cliffs and off the tops of buildings and saying things like, "whoa! that was intense!"

they're the best because anything that's "radical to the max, dude" was so obviously made because a 40-year-old thought that's what an 18-year-old would think was cool.

anyway, back to the site. it also lists some pretty great upcoming food-processing conferences. Mark your calendars.

June 20-23:
American Meat Science Association

July 10-17:
American Peanut Research and Education Society

Aug 7:
Biscuit & Cracker Distributors Association

Oct 3-6:
The Association for Dressings & Sauces has a BBS, too, but the forum i was interested in, Foods of Tomorrow sadly only has one message: "JUST WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT THE STEPS TAKEN FOR FOOD PROCESSING SUCH AS MAKING MARGARINE, OR MAYBE CANNING OF PINEAPPLE..."

this is getting to be a really long entry, so here's one last thing from the daily news: "Starbase-1 Coffee Co. Ltd., which manufactures, markets and distributes STAR TREK themed gourmet food products under license with Viacom Consumer Products Inc., will launch STAR TREK bottled water in the United States and Canada within the next 90 days." [unless their ransom demands are met.]

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a nice site put together by a Japanese monkey owner, with lots of pictures and even some monkey noises. don't miss the monkey photo contest page. the theme is "summer".

also, do monkeys know it's christmas?

05.28.99Donny and Marie Star Wars Show
Sept 23, 1977. Paul Lynde as the Grand Moff, Kris Kristofferson as Han Solo, and Red Fox as Ben Kenobi. Plus a dance number with the entire cast and stormtroopers. nothing is better than this.

well, maybe one thing...the Star Wars Holiday Special.

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Star Wars Holiday Special
i guess the hardcore fans all know about this, but it's news to me. everything i've read about it starts by saying how bad it is. in fact, George Lucas has supposedly said something to the effect of: "if i had the time and a hammer, i'd smash every existing bootleg tape of this." it aired on CBS in November of 1978 and was never again broadcast in the U.S. or released on video. With the exception of Alec Guiness, pretty much all of the main cast members participated. And to round things out, Harvey Korman, Bea Arthur, and Art Carney guest-starred as well. Because he's so damn good, Harvey Korman played three different parts.

Anyway, on the show, Chewbacca is trying to get back to his home planet so he can spend Life Day, the Wookiee holiday, with his wife Mala, his son Lumpy, and his father Itchy. (yes. Itchy, Chewie, Lumpy--three generations of handsome wookiee names.) Somewhere in there, we get to see a twenty minute cartoon. Plus, it being a '70s tv special, there's lots of singing. Bea Arthur sings. As does Carrie Fischer. Oh, and Harrison Ford in a bold departure from the Han Solo character, hugs every member of the Wookiee family.

here's another good site about it with lots of screen shots. here's a faq. and here's a partial transcript.

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star wars tv
this is a good source for the above 2 entries and more like that, including richard pryor's cantina.

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Star Wars asciimation
since we've got a freaky star wars vibe going, here's this thing. very impressive.

when i was 6 years old or so, my parents decided to repaint my room and asked me what color i wanted the walls to be. and i told them i wanted three white walls and one red wall. i think i sort of remember them asking me if i was serious. i was. and so they honored my request and painted 3 of my walls white and one red. i have no idea why i wanted that.
05.27.99 70s/80s sportswear museum
obsessive collector-types make the best websites. the faq here explains how to tell if a tracksuit was made before 1990 or not: "if it's made from... Polyester/Triacetate or Acetate or Cupro mix. e.g. 60% Polyester, 40% Triacetate", it's probably from the 70s/80s. and of course, if it's made from "Trilobal Nylon. Polyester or Nylon Taffeta" it's probably not. also the faq provides a definition of "old school." thank you.

there's a nice schematic of an iron-damaged 1986 Adidas "Colorado" hooded top (which the guy who put this site up already has two of these and is looking for a third).

the best part of the site is the museum itself, which is organized by manufacturer--click the brand logos on the home page.

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i used to be a big fan of this site, but i forgot all about it until now. every day i used to read Richard's daily message. some excerpts:

may 26: "Friendships that last the longest are the ones you work on hard."

may 25: "I thank God for giving me rhythm."

may 22: "NO ONE MADE FUN OF ME!"

if you read enough of his writing, it becomes clear that he has this weird thing where he seems to think of himself as a sort of jesus here to save the obese. (or the devil???) but i can't make fun of the guy right now because his mom died recently and i know they were really close.

i'd be all over winning the phone call from Richard if the Club wasn't $9.95 a month.

also, don't you think his signature's kind of weird?