Misterpants.com. Text, links, colors, shiny baubles, flashing lights, a crash! Raccoons flee the scene.
Batter-dipped, deep-fried, sugar coated Twinkies
Loosen your belt, America; you're gonna need some bigger pants.

[Thx, José]
Umbrellas on Venice Beach
"Just one more thing that makes California great."

And look who it is--Elton and Betty White, seen here performing "I'm in Love with Your Behind" (8.3Mb, Quicktime) from Viceland's Top 10 Outsider videos.

[The video is via the Sharpeworld ages ago.]

Las Hijas del Tomate

Las Ketchup
This summer, Aserejé, a catchy Spanish novelty song swept through Spain, the rest of Europe, and Latin America. It's currently number one in the UK. Maybe the US is next?

To accompany the music are dance moves, which seem to be cribbed from every other song with dance moves--including bits of "YMCA," "The Hand-Jive," "The Macarena" and the wobble-leg motions from Pink Lady's "UFO." You can maybe learn them from the video (realplayer) if you are so inclined. (or the totally different american video.)

The band is comprised of 3 sisters. And the name, Las Ketchup, comes from the fact that all three are daughters of Tomate, a famous flamenco guitarist.

But here's what's cool about this song: the chorus is nonsense words which are a mis-hearing of the to Sugarhill Gang's "Rapper's Delight," which themselves are almost but not quite nonsense lyrics.


"I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie to the hip hip hop, a you dont stop the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat."


"aserejé, ja deje tejebe tude jebere seiunouba majabi an de bugui an de buididipi."

(Here's Rapper's Delight [1Mb, AIFF] if you want to compare.)

They're working on breaking Aserejé in America now--appearing last night on The (mostly-abysmal) Caroline Rhea Show and today on The (almost-unwatchable) View.

Here's a little more about Las Ketchup from the Lycos Daily Report.

And, here's a Asereheinz, a karaoke version of a Heinz ad using the song with the lyrics changed to be about ketchup. Footage of girls dancing interspliced with ketchup being poured. Odd.

Oh. And, for the moment anyway, the mp3 is here, shh. (3.2Mb) psychotic ceramics
Ugliest and most insane ceramic figurines ever. and they've got some cheery bobble heads too. garbage can man and crying Mr. "I may never smile again" for example.

[Thanks, John.]

Strindberg and Helium

August Strindberg and Helium
Finally, an animated cartoon for everyone who's ever asked, "Why doesn't someone make a cartoon based on the adventures of the much-suffering late-nineteenth- early-twentieth-century Swedish writer and alchemist, August Strindberg, and his companion, a sentient pink helium balloon?"

Funky shades
"GET RED HOT Funky. Funky Special from New York."

You don't really need to click that link, but you definitely need to get red hot funky.

new nickname
I was trying to think of a nickname for myself that no one has ever had before, and this is what I came up with:

Mean King Mommy

Although it's unique and has a definite ring to it, I'm probably not going to be using it.

If you would like to use it instead, there's a sign-up sheet in the hallway. Just write your name and phone number under where it says "Mean King Mommy."

First come, first serve.
stop-motion hunchback-a-go-go

Mad Monster Party
Stop-motion Rankin/Bass monster movie from 1968--what a crazy fun concept. Plus, Phyllis Diller and Boris Karloff lend the endeavor some hefty star power.

Now, check out these fun parts of the Mad Monster Party website: Oh, and this is kind of neat too. The skeleton band in the movie is called The Misfits. And in the real world, as you probably already know, there's a real-life (skeleton) band called The Misfits, who were not named after the band in Mad Monster Party, but instead named themselves after Marilyn Monroe's last movie.

However, the real-life Misfits have a bit about Mad Monster Party on their website. Which oddly doesn't explain that there's not a connection between the two.

Also, to add to the confusion. The MMP Misfits performed Monster Mash. And the real-life Misfits have recently covered that song as well.

[Thanks, Pete, Esq.]
Sharpeworld is back from vacation
And is currently featuring my favorite scopitone ever, "For You," (18Mb, Quicktime), with cowboys and cowgirls and lots of hoppity dancing.

(Her link to the cup stacking champion video [QT, 1.3Mb] is also super amazing.) Fascinating and beautifully over-wrought history of the doughnut
An excerpt: "But alas, at the height of civil rights turmoil and our nations tribulations as the so-called 'policeman of the world', so too did the doughnut face its share of troubles...."

This is good too:

"In the 1990's, America traded in its leg warmers for more comfortable shoes. Computer-driven pop was replaced by, of all things, guitars. As the cocaine buzz of a confused era wore off, we sought comfort from simpler things. And what was simpler than a doughnut?"

peanut butter cap'n crunch with vanilla ice cream
I don't have very much to say about this except that I just ate it and it was good.

And also, I think it's probably what they serve you at the cafeteria in heaven.
"The feeling of a dog is translated."

Translates barks into Japanese.

(Did you know that the Japanese word for the sound a dog makes is, "wan-wan"?)

[Thank you, José]

Redd Kross interview with John Waters from 1997

[Thanks, John.]
grocery store anecdote
I went to the grocery store and filled up a cart with lots of groceries.

Then I went to a checkout lane. And right after I got in line, a woman came up behind me with just a couple items. So I let her go ahead of me. I'm good like that. But she didn't thank me. She didn't say anything. And she gave me a really strange look, like I was crazy.

But I let her weirdness ride and proceeded to unload all the groceries from my cart. Then, when it's my turn with the cashier, he says, "I guess you didn't see our sign." And I look up and there's the sign that says, "12 items or less."

And I offered to load my groceries back into my cart, but that would have taken even longer. And then I look back and in line behind me are 5 irritated people with just one or two items each.

In my defense, that sign was really hard to see.

But, wow, what a really effective way to feel like a complete ass.

(That would have been the perfect time to whip out a cellphone and start talking really loudly about stocks or projects that just got "green-lighted," ending the conversation with, "I'm gonna hop in my Hummer H2 and I'll see you at the condo in 15. Ciao!")
Oh no, no, no. I'm a rocket man.

William Shatner performing "Rocketman" at the 1978 Science Fiction Film Awards
(realplayer clip) This has been making the rounds since 1978, so perhaps you've already seen it. If not, you are in for a treat. And if so, you are in for a treat that you have already seen.

Beck re-enacted it in the video to "Where It's At." And "The Family Guy" has paid homage to it as well. (Sorry, I didn't find clips online of either of these.)

Oh, and apparently Chris Elliot sang "Rocketman" on Letterman in 1992, but I'm not sure if he did it Shatner-style.

[Thanks, Scot! Also thanks Steve. And Tricia.]

"Arnold Makes Reading FUN!"
Weird murky Arnold Schwarzenegger video
Children read to Arnold while lots of photographers document the occasion. It's all part of Mr. Schwarzenegger's campaign for governor Proposition 49.

About 4/5ths the way through, you can hear one child figuring out or maybe explaining that this guest in the classroom is "the Terminator."

Exciting as that may seem--most of the videos on his site are super boring: If you browse the rest of Mr. S's website, you may notice a very refined and delicate hint of masculinity to the design. It was a surprising decision but they ran with it, the masculine motiff, and I think they found a way to make it work. In doing so, they crafted a site, which reflects the subtlety of Arnold Scharzenegger.

It would be great if he and Melanie Griffith would trade websites for a little while.

Or trade bodies.

[thx, José.]

Mystical Crop Circles
A game for you to play from Braveland.

Plus, watch the giant octopus wreak maritime havoc.

Sgt. Fitness HQ
I wish the Sgt. Fitness Headquarters were shaped like a giant healthy apple.

Instead, it looks from these thumbnails of the Sgt. Fitness video, that his HQ is in a suburban home with a well-manicured lawn. Very sneaky, Sgt. Fitness! The bad guys will never suspect it.

waving cat
I am a sucker for this waving cat. From a pop-up ad.

Mike Snider
"Come enjoy Country Comedian and Musician, MIKE SNIDER at the world-famous Texas Troubadour Theater in Nashville during 2002!"

You've got donut problems. Belshaw has donut solutions.
donuts : donut plungers
Match the donut with the corresponding donut plunger.

Then you can follow this flowchart to learn how to make high-margin donuts.

And let's hear it for donut robots. We're all tired of robots. And we're angry at them. But no one ever gets tired of or angry at a donut robot.

Promise me you'll spend some time today thinking about donut robots.

[Thanks, John!]

KISS Are People Too
channel 7 news on airshow disaster
"Another tragic mishap at an airshow. Are they worth the risks?"

Oh good heavens. Whatever would we do for entertainment if they banned the airshows?

Next they'll want to close down the kinetoscope parlors or stop the zeppelin races.

And a ban on airshows would just drive them underground, spawning a network of even more dangerous illicit airshows.
Chickenman, chicken truck, chickens

Chickenman! Here is the Chickenman's purpose according to his info page:

"Chickenman Purpose
Purpose of the Chickenman
1) Entertaining
2) Edcutating
3) Motivation"

The Chickenman's entire website is worth visiting--the HTML version, anyway.

First, you will enjoy reading the History of the "Chickenman". Which is great. (You may be surprised to learn that he became the Chickenman only 4 short years ago.)

Then, flip through the Chickenman's pictures. Very nice.

And finally, acquaint yourself with the videos that the Chickenman has made available to you in his video section. Every single one is worth watching--and especially don't miss the Chickenman's infamous head trick.

[thanks Carrie!]
another redesign
Here is a bulleted list of some of the latest changes:
  • More legible than ever!
  • The 3 columns are back!
  • Vivid hues! You can see them!
  • Extra insulation keeps you cool in the summer and warm in the winter, cutting fuel bills in half!
  • Kills the dreaded Argentine ant without expensive traps or messy sprays!
  • Improved V-block guide prevents bushing into jig-plate hole!
  • Water-filled mucilage bottle moistens envelope flaps!
With the last redesign, I kept bushing into the jig-plate hole, so this new redesign should be a big improvement.