12.04.01 frontier psychiatrist video (realplayer)
Wow, I really like The Avalanches all of a sudden. And this video sure does tickle my funnybone something fierce. Good god!

- - - - - - -

get crafty: crocheted skull
" Each skull is unique.... Some days I feel like making the left eye larger, some have more teeth than others and some look meaner than others...."

[Thanks, Katey.]

Korea bound
No updates for a week. I will be in Seoul (for a week). Seriously. I hope I have lots of funny anecdotes to tell you about, but I'm scared that I won't have any. And that would be embarrassing, to go all the way there and come back with not one single anecdote. But at the same time, if I try too hard to make anecdotes, then they'll be lame. Gotta relax and let them happen.

We'll see.

If it doesn't work out, I'll steal someone else's anecdotes on the plane ride back and try to pass them off as my own. Like I usually do.
12.02.01 Nikki S. Lee
interesting projects. Here's what a NY Times article says about her:

"Since 1994, Ms. Lee, a New York artist born in South Korea, has investigated identity through appearance. Her projects involve temporary memberships in cultural or ethnic groups...."

This is good too--from the same article:

"In the 'Seniors Project,' new elderly acquaintances dismissed her story of being an artist as senility because of the effectiveness of her performance."

12.01.01 hobonickel.net
"The Golden Age of Hobo Nickel Carving is Alive and Well"

[thanks, John.]

11.30.01 minimixes
These minimixes crack me up. Little audio mixing jokes. So, if you're an audio geek type person, you'll probably get a big kick out of these. If you're not, you might also, or maybe you'll only get a little kick out of them. When it comes to kick sizes, I never can tell with you people.

Scroll further down for some other audio treats, like the audio portion of TV ads from 1981.

- - - - - - -

some glitches, a cameo and trivia from Tron. (from the same site as above.)

Additionally, Jerry has written a script for Tron 2.0 and he's even storyboarded some of it.

- - - - - - -

Afghan War Rugs
"Shortly after the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan smaller rugs bearing images of Soviet weaponry began showing up in the world's markets...."

[Thanks, Scout.]

- - - - - - -

llama nativity scene
newfangled nativity: all llamas, no jesus.

bonus: handcrafted llama wool llama ornaments.

[thanks, José]

11.28.01 Lincoln Space Ace, Lincoln Cat, Lincoln Starchild, and Lincoln Demon

- - - - - - -

Jesus, the hot air balloon
I wonder if anyone has ever seen Jesus the hot air balloon approaching and mistakenly thought it was the rapture.

Here's a riddle for you:

What's 110 feet tall, filled with Helium, and was crucified on the cross at Calgary so that the sins of the world would be forgiven?

Answer: you know who.

- - - - - - -

celebrate the joys of the pop-pop boat
toy physics. neat!

here's a video of a pop-pop boat popping away.

And if you're industrious enough to become a builder of toy boats, here's how you can build your own pop-pop from scratch. Build it and then show up at the nearest pond in your captain's outfit. Push all the neighborhood kids aside and launch your pop-pop vessel. You'll be the talk of the park, Captain Pop-Pop!

- - - - - - -

Osama or Later (Parody).mp3
On the surface, this seems like just another one of those annoying jingoistic rah-rah USA anti-Osama satirical songs. And it is. There are, however, a few striking things about this one:
  • slick production
  • Makes no sense: "Osama or Later?" why not just replace that phrase with "Osama bin Laden?"
  • Stylistically, this sounds like the novelty song that would have come out in 1971 instead of right now. I love that about it, actually.
  • In fairness, I should maybe mention that the proceeds go to a good cause.
  • It's unfunny in a really specific way. The original song, by The Grassroots, "Sooner or Later (love is gonna get ya)" was clever because it ironically cast "love" in a menacing role as something that's gonna get you. "Osama or Later" takes away the irony and makes it literal: "America's gonna get ya" thereby un-clevering The Grassroots.
(And I didn't even mention the burka/jerka rhyme.)

11.27.01 ot-to tour
takes a while to load, but it's thoroughly pleasant once it does.

- - - - - - -

Tennessee fainting goats
I've had a couple people call me up and inform me with a husky whisper to, "search the web for fainting goats." Then click--line goes dead. And I say, "Wait, who are you? Who do you work for?" But all I get is dial tone.

So, okay, here are some fainting goats for you. And a few more little ones--cute. These goats don't actually faint. They have Myotonia, which is a condition that causes their muscles to stiffen when they're startled. It's freaky but apparently painless.

This page has a quicktime movie of a fainting goat in action.

The history of myotonic goats is pretty odd too. In the 1880s, a mysterious stranger appeared in a small town in Tennessee with four fainting goats and a sacred cow. He stayed a few years, got married even, and then disappeared with his cow, leaving the goats behind.

And this part of the story has me especially baffled: no one knows where he came from, but, "It was assumed, by his dress, he came from Nova Scotia." Did Nova Scotians dress in a very particular and distinct way in the 1880s? How did someone in rural Tennessee happen to recognize Nova Scotia style?
Last time I did laundry, I had 3 or 4 dryers going at the same time, and one dryer finished--that is, all the clothes in it were dry except one towel was still a little wet. So I took that towel out and put it in with another batch that still had about 10 minutes to go.

Then about 5 minutes into it, I stopped that dryer to check on the towel. But first I picked up these denim shorts to check them. Which seemed odd because I don't own any denim shorts. And that's how I realized that I'd stuck my towel in someone else's dryer. I'd gotten a free ride for my towel with some strangers' clothes.

It turned out the couple whose clothes were in the dryer, was standing right there. They didn't say anything. I don't know if they noticed or not, but I kind of think that they had to notice because they were right there when I was feeling their shorts.

So watch out! If you go to the laundromat and I'm there at the same time, I might touch your clothes.

11.21.01 torisukoshiro
beautiful odd organic flash site.

All of anemic is good. Other favorites include Ume-chan and The Future Clinic.

11.20.01 The Howie Green Design "Mr. Collection"
From Mr. Clean to Mr. Machine, from Mr. Meat to Mr. Mouth, all the Misters are here. Well, not all, but many.

- - - - - - -

mari-chan characters
These are great. Similar to Chack, Mari-chan specializes in cute Japanese illustrations sprinkled with liberal doses of odd and macabre. Hit the pull-down menu to see all 140 characters.

oh, the goal of Magical Designer Mari-chan's character project is pretty neat too.

- - - - - - -

korean alphabet
do you know what alphabet is really cool? the korean alphabet. i'm so getting into Korean. It's my new favorite alphabet.

Smells of the Future
If I ever get to host a big conference, I want to call it The Smells of the Future. And all the panelists and speakers will be fragrance experts talking about "The Next Big Smell" and "A Sneak Peak at Next Year's Hot New Smells" and "What the Cutting Edge Smells Like" and so on.

We all have a pretty good idea what the future will look like: lots of shiny fabrics and complex mechanical devices to do our bidding. And we know what it will sound like: bleepy-bloopy computer noises. But no one ever talks about what the future will smell like.

We need to start thinking about this now. We can plan ahead and work together to create a great-smelling future.

And this will be the tagline for the conference:

"If you can dream it, you can smell it!"
11.15.01 battle the eggs

- - - - - - -

Ask Abraham Lincoln
Ask Lincoln a question. Don't expect a response, though; Abraham Lincoln died in the 19th century.

- - - - - - -

Tar Beaty's portfolio
These newfangled designers with their pixels and their wallpaper magazine all wish they were as cool as Tar Beaty here.

- - - - - - -

jindo kae (chin-dot kae)
rare korean jindo island dog. i'm into this dog.

please dig the civil diplomat dog concept:

"If a dog native to a country becomes a pet of world people, they would have a good impression of and an interest in the country, which raised the dog. This is the reason why a native dog of good breed is called a good civil diplomat."

Louie Anderson
Now that I live in Los Angeles, I look forward to the occasional celebrity encounter. With one big exception--Louie Anderson. I really hope that I never ever see that guy.

I live in fear of meeting him, actually.

Is there a more loathsome, more reviled personage in all of Los Angeles?
11.14.01 Dr. MacDoo
euro-pop at its most embarrassing: a scottish stereotype with enormous shoes brings you bad dance music. what the hell? Thanks but no thanks, Dr. MacDoo.

His album went gold in Sweden, so if you run into any Scandinavians, make them apologize for this crap: By the way, Dr. MacDoo is not a real doctor. If he tries to examine you, kick his teeth in. Wait, which is better: "kick his teeth in," or "kick him in the bagpipes?" Neither? Okay.

(Those responsible for Dr. MacDoo are also apparently behind Dr. Bombay. Equally cruddy dance music, but Indian stereotype instead of Scottish.)

[thanks, Kate.]

- - - - - - -

Captain Cupcake returns
Welcome back to dry land, Captain Cupcake. They say that the sea is a harsh mistress. Did you find this to be true?

No expense was spared for his joyous return: a yo-yo expert, a magician, and a psychic parrot were all on hand for the festivities.

[via Royal Journal.]

11.13.01 air to the kingdom
balloon ministry.

i'm thinking balloon animals + christianity = gotta be a noah's ark somewhere there, with balloon animals climbing aboard 2 by 2. but if it's there, i never found it.

- - - - - - -

balloon hq
welcome fellow patrons of the balloon arts. here are some balloon sculpture photos: Also, here's a write-up about a professional balloon sculptor who went to Japan to help 8 Japanese celebrities build a giant Japanese balloon demon fighting a samurai for Fuji Television.

[Thanks, Colonel.]

- - - - - - -

your name carved in cheese
sounds like a euphemism or a veiled threat.

Ari Fleischer: "There are reminders to all Americans that they need to watch what they say, watch what they do, or we'll be reading their names carved in cheese."

Something like that.

- - - - - - -

"Help support America by eating Chicken Quesadillas!"
Not tacky at all:

"Chicken Quesadillas for a Year!

Every American and citizen of the world has been affected by the events that took place on September 11. Taco Bell has partnered with eBay to assist the thousands of people who were directly affected by the tragedies that occurred that Tuesday morning....

All proceeds go to the Twin Towers Fund. Taco Bell -- Think outside the bun!"

[thanks, Andrew.]

- - - - - - -

wig suit
i cannot say enough good things about this.

here i am, out in the woods, me and my wig suit. AGAIN. if bigfoot doesn't show up this time, i have half a mind to just call it quits.

[thanks, leslie.]

- - - - - - -

Lincoln Restaurant
It's in Chicago, Illinois.

"Come to the Land of Lincoln, and emancipate your stomach in The Lincoln Restaurant," is what they would say if they took my advice.

But they never do.

Please note how much this Lincoln looks like Rob Schneider.

[thanks, humantorch.]

- - - - - - -

stupid site, good concept. wait, not even a good concept. i take that back. but god bless the almighty US of A for allowing a site like this to exist. let freedom ring!

however, if the guy who runs this site is being hassled by the feds or is in jail, which actually seems not wholly unlikely in the current climate, then i take back what i said about god blessing america.

[thanks, leslie, darling.]
alert the authorities: i witnessed an old man stealing a tomato.
At the west hollywood farmer's market, i watched an old man in front of me slide a small tomato into his pocket while the cashier weighed his other produce.
my toilet isn't working. but i'm still using it. i figure if i stop using it, then the terrorists win.

no updates for a week
because i'm going to be in Boulder, Colorado. There I will be attending a series of Beautiful Baby pageants, followed by several Meanest Man contests. The week's activities will culminate on Saturday evening with a combined Mean and Beautiful Baby Man Competition.

p.s. wow, check out this crazy unibox see-through car that Honda showed at the Tokyo Auto Show.

p.p.s. sign up for pantsmail.
11.03.01 my dad: wig seller to the stars
nice little article and interview from eatsquid magazine.

- - - - - - -

some sesame street mp3s
Ladybug's Picnic, Alligator King, and a couple others. I love these, especially Ladybug's Picnic.

Hey, Ladybugs! (That's a good thing to say when you show up somewhere.)

Hey, Ladybugs! Next time, please invite me to your picnic, but tell me what i should bring because I don't know what you eat.

[Thanks, Chris!]

- - - - - - -

This site's pretty fun. Crazy illustrations. Reminds me of those Ed Emberly drawing books.

11.01.01 grandma o's soothing sacks
Say, you ever get soothed by a sack? No? Well then, you'd better talk to Grandma O!

"Who would have thought that by putting some grain in a small bag of cloth, that you would have something that people everywhere are raving about?"

No one, Grandma O! That's why you're the champ! Everyone says so! Tell it like it is!

[Thanks, Joel.]

- - - - - - -

mopey Honest Abe carving
"7'2" tall including the stovepipe hat

(this was Abraham Lincoln's true height)

This wonderful carving was carved for a direct descendent of Abraham Lincoln!


i keep telling myself to stop already with the lincolns, that it's not even funny anymore if it ever was, which it wasn't. but then something like this just appears in front of me and i can't resist. and i'm like, okay, just this one last lincoln. but after this, no more lincolns ever! and when i say it to myself, i really sincerely mean it. and then the next one appears. and i'm like, no, no, no, i promised myself. no more lincolns. but well, just this one won't hurt.

- - - - - - -

"Big People" Section
This is the "Big People" Section of Jim's Big Things.

- - - - - - -

i pity the chair
Finally a workable solution to the problem of not being able to sit on Mr. T, himself. Introducing, the remarkable Mr. T face chair.

[Thanks, John!]

10.29.01 slip-n-fall.mov
Tron meets the three stooges in this 3-D-rendered masterpiece.

(Maybe i'm overselling this just a wee bit. It's a movie of someone slipping and falling.)

- - - - - - -

skeleton hoedown
if you have even the tiniest mote of love in your heart, you cannot but be moved by the skeleton hoedown.

- - - - - - -

Oof NYC photo gallery
Oof took some great photos. Here's the accompanying interview with Oof.

- - - - - - -

tekken torture tournament
"Willing participants will be wired into our custom fighting system - A modified Tekken III Playstation console which converts virtual damage into bracing, but non-lethal electric shock...."

(This was back in May, so all you Tekken, electroshock fans missed it. Sorry.)

- - - - - - -

The American Beekeeping Federation's American Honey Queen Program
"As American Honey Queen, Renee A. Blatt of Jonestown, Penn., strives to make the public realize that honeybees are not just stinging insects, but vital to the survival of mankind. She wants people to get away from the “honey is just for toast” stereotype, and teach everyone of the versatility of honey...."

- - - - - - -

Burlington Bees Baseball
mostly noted for the crowned king bee mascot, on the throne, drunk?
riddle me this.
Why would a tanning salon put a big poster of Michael Jackson in their window?

My best guess is that it's to serve as a cautionary message: look what happens if you don't go to the tanning salon! Tan, people. When will you ever learn? Tan, goddamn you! TAAAN!!

10.26.01 european ps2 ads directed by David Lynch
i mostly recommend Bambi. But if you have a fast connection, Jimmy Dynamite and IAMTHEWOLFMAN are also worth seeing.

(Oh, except I guess IGN is totally wrong about David Lynch directing the wolfman one. Shoddy internet journalism.)

[thanks, Jim. And Jason.]

- - - - - - -

kitty 02
zap! i love it, love it, love it. i love it too much i think.

[thanks minky! i love it.]

- - - - - - -

news helicopter picture gallery
from the National Broadcast Pilots Association.

- - - - - - -

lemon adventure
good weird flash from good weird Rodney Alan Greenblat.

- - - - - - -

the argentine ant
interesting ants.

[thanks, Joel!]

- - - - - - -

phooning with an abe lincoln impersonator
from phoons.com, which i don't really have much to say about.

- - - - - - -

Chubby Checker - auto bahn baby
kind of neat to hear Chubby Checker sing in german. some of the other songs are good too. (realaudio)

breaking the beard barrier
A seldom-noted achievement of Abraham Lincoln, was that he broke the American presidential beard barrier. He was the first president with facial hair.

(The last was Taft.)