cam, again
alright, i give up. that camera sucks for outside shots i guess.
03.26.01 Eric Carr's KISS application
"willing to shave mustache"

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photos of Japanese KISS fans from the farewell tour
Some of these are pretty great.

special bonus, which is neither special nor much of a bonus:The Jokes of Ace Frehley.

also, the KISS Rooms feature is awesome. If Al Gore had promised that every home in America would get its own KISS room, the supreme court would have given the sceptre to him instead of President Dumbass.

anyway, KISS Rooms would be a great documentary.

oh, oh. lastly but not leastly: KISS army recruitment poster.

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Beppu Spring Records supports napster
or maybe supports the RIAA?

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"Big Bobby" The Super Clown
plus, further down the page, The Big Blues Brother, which, along with the rest of this page, gave me nightmares all weekend.

"Another character popular for promotio[n]al work is the over sized Blues Brother who acts rather silly and gets the audience involved as you can see by the picture above."

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Super Clown
the game machine.

also fun, the kiddie rides, especially the page that includes "anti-aircraft gun" and "pullet."

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Super Clown
the airplane. (which was shot down by an anti-aircraft gun, manned by a pullet.)

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A large-busted clown with a Super-Soaker
more nightmare fodder.

cam, moved
i moved the cam, so that it's in the front window. now, instead of seeing whatever item i've put in front of it, you can see a blurry image of a street corner or sometimes people waiting for the bus, or sometimes the bus.

we'll see how long this is fun. probably it's already boring.
03.23.01 funkbone.nu
great japanese messy design.

(i fractured my funk bone in a scooter accident.)

[via gmt+9.]

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your ad here
has been really, really good this month. see for yourself: each one of those above is totally hilarious. you have my money-back guarrantee on that. especially, well, especially all three. way funny.

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how pain beams work
in case you need to build a pain beam, or maybe need to do some repair work on the pain beam that you already own (because it maybe backfires or overheats, or maybe because it's not painful enough!), here's the how stuff works entry on the subject.

"...the weapon is particularly useful when innocent persons are mixed in with adversaries."

pain beams! i can't wait for the future.

[Thanks, Lisa.]

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best under construction banner

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arbitron purple people meter
now, what i would like to see is an arbitron tracking device that also includes a pain beam.

i would definitely use an arbitron pain beam on people who watch Jag. and that stupid new NBC young lawyer show. And Frasier. Why is that still on? Wasn't Frasier Crane the least interesting character from Cheers?


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Historia de la lucha libre en nuestro pais
linked to mainly for that great picture of Santo on the phone.

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Todo para payasos

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moral court screen grabs
wow. clowns. wow.

"Woman accused of demeaning the values that clowns represent ."

[via sketchzilla.]

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Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre
Mexican wrestling league. definitely check out the estrellas.

[thanks, Jose.]
Day 71. Dear Diary,
My concerns grow ever larger, and begin to shade other events of the quotidian. Am I the only one who is using the handsoap in the bathroom? Because that is NASTY.
more word scramble fun

[thanks, Glenn!]
03.21.01 cool hunt
1997 New Yorker article on "cool hunting." Both interesting and ridiculous.

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KISS on tv, 1974-1976
from good old tvparty.com. includes video of Paul Lynde and KISS--holy crap, that's good.

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radio lucha libre
short (90 second and 120 second) audio skits. some very funny. Especially check out: realplayer is doing this awesome thing where it prompts me to download some new component. if i say yes, it downloads something and then prompts me for it again. if i say yes again, it downloads it again and then prompts me for it again. if i ever say no it crashes my machine.

it's like i'm at the grocery store and the bagger asks, "do you need a bag?" and if i say yes, he gives me a bag and then asks again if i need a bag. if i say yes he gives me another bag and then asks again. if i say no, he punches me in the face. which, by the way, would be a really great performance art piece, i think. especially if the artist were to perform it in an actual grocery store to an audience of unsuspecting shoppers.

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NPR's Lost and Found Sound: shortwave numbers stations
great radio piece about this. entertaining and spooky and weird.

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photographs of international street fashion. such a great idea. i want someone to take this concept and do it really well. i want international street fashion snapshots that are even one-tenth as good as Japan's "Fruits magazine."

Good, fun, real everyday everywhere fashion. I would even settle for the lame corporate-sponsored rip-off version, where some (all?) of the photos are faked in order to promote the sponsors' products.

Okay, so someone do this, now, please.

Maybe just redo coolhunt.net and make it more fun, less murky.

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peko-chan and poko-chan

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small coffee break
japanese real audio candy talk and japanese internet candy tour. odd, and a little bit less fun than it sounds like it would be. i mean, still kind of fun, but gets un-fun very quickly.
valentine's day cookie
i got really hungry, so i knocked over the kitchen garbage and found this old valentine's day cookie that had been thrown out and so i batted it onto the floor and ate it but i left the garbage can overturned and also i left a ton of crumbs all over the floor.

oh wait, that wasn't me. that was my cat.
if i was a musician, i'd want to release a remix of one of my songs and call it the Michael Landon Highway to Heaven mix.
03.14.01 code
flash interface experiments from hello design. functional flash. not gee whiz flash. or maybe a little gee whiz, but mostly functional.
thing i did last night that in retrospect seems more than a little bit like something that an insane person would do
last night, around midnight, as i was going to bed, i decided that tomorrow (now, today) i would want to wear this certain pair of jeans. i was looking at them and i realized that they're so frayed and tattered and hole-y that really i shouldn't wear them. so i got out the sewing kit and started patching up the holes.

i sat in front of the TV and just sewed and sewed. and sewed and sewed. and i watched jenny jones ("you think you're the mack, but your style ain't jack!") and then i even watched that Queen Latifah show, which although i had never seen it before, I had previously believed that Queen Latifah was just the same thing as Jenny Jones; however, last night i was delighted to learn that Latifah's show is actually THE OPPOSITE of Jenny Jones! Queen Latifah is the anti-Jenny.

Anyway, by the time I was almost finished patching the third hole, I looked up at the clock and it was 5 in the morning. I had been up all night sewing for really no good reason at all.

That's really weird, but the especially weird thing is that in the last Pantsmail that I sent out (which was too long ago, i know; i'm neglecting my mass email duties) I started it with some dumb joke about staying up all night sewing, because it seemed like such a ridiculously stupid thing that i would so obviously never do.

(Even though it's been a really long time, i am still doing pantsmail and you should totally sign up if you haven't yet.)

03.13.01 zombo.com
hands down, this is the best website ever.

What's great about it is that you can do anything there. The only limit is yourself. Welcome to Zombo com!

[thanks, Steev.]

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monkey phone call ebay auction
very good.

oh, the counter says 10,000+ people have visited this. must be going around. hmm. still good.

[thanks, Sarah.]

03.12.01 misterpants-cam
in my efforts to keep up with 4-year-old web trends, i've put a camera on my site. (A "cam!" You've never heard of a cam? Get with the lingo, jack!) Next i'll do a portal. and then i'll focus my efforts on broadband, wireless, and finally b2b.

anyway, check out the camera. it's crappy black and white (i bought it at a garage sale--FROM A NERD!!), but grainy monochrome is kind of cool. or at least that's what someone with only a crappy black-and white-camera would say, isn't it?

knowing me, i'll get bored with it fairly quickly. so-enjoy-it-right-now! quick-like-a-bunny! hop-hop-hop!

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jollibee space adventure birthday party pictures

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legal eagles basketball team photographed with mascot, jollibee

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richard dreyfuss fan artwork
it's a great, big, beautiful internet out there. so big and beautiful, in fact, that there's plenty of room for Richard Dreyfuss fan artwork.

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good band. pleasant contemporary independent pop rock music. (that's a horrible description.) you should download some of their mp3s and hear for yourself. at least one of their songs is in japanese, and another is french.

[thanks, Pepito.]

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vintage reel to reels
and vintage reel to reel advertisements. cool navigation too.

adult dodgeball league
i've been thinking a lot about dodgeball lately. and i've decided to start an adult dodgeball league. and to maybe try to get a professional league going.

XDB--eXtreme DodgeBall.

03.09.01 X minus 1
"From the far horizons of the unknown come transcribed tales of new dimensions in time and space. These are stories of the future, adventures in which you'll live in a million could-be years on a thousand maybe-worlds...."

awesome 1950s science fiction radio, with stories written by the likes of Isaac Asimov, Robert Heinlein, and Phillip K. Dick (and Ray Bradbury, bleh).

The sound effects are excellent. And like any old sci-fi, the future being drawn is a treat: "after the third atomic war," and Esperanto, and aliens, aliens, aliens!

also, occasionally brilliant on-target social criticism.

you can download 4 episodes as mp3s (2 of X-1 and 2 of Dimension X).

and elsewhere, you can listen in on streaming audio of old time sci-fi radio (Click "Listen to SciFi Classics.") Includes X-1, but also Space Patrol, which is nowhere near as good.

I have to go now. The robots are approaching.

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people like us
great audio collage work from jolly old England. Download them. also the introductory flash animation totally cracked me up.

[oh yeah, sort of via capital letters", just like yesterday.]

03.08.01 corporate anthems
real anthems from real companies. crazy bad. but good bad, good crazy bad, y'know?

"...something they can play at office parties, conferences and secretly through headphones before they stride confidently into meetings."

[via the brand spanking new, anti-corporate weblog, capital letters--so new, there is only one entry so far.]

riddle answer
is here.

oh, and to everyone who said the riddle was "too easy" and/or "lame"--oh right, like your riddles are so good. whatever.

actually, no one said anything about the riddle. except a couple people solved it.
03.07.01 interaction spike baby - i am not your honey-bunny

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pie charts
i am so digging these pie charts.

can i say that? just like that? "i am so digging these pie charts." seems weird. oh well, it's colloquial or something. because i'm a hillbilly!

anyway, you will like these pie charts.

you may also like the rest of 1000 ridiculous tragedies, if you are inclined towards reading fiction. Mr. Metascene is and did.

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batboy, the musical
opened march 3rd in NYC, after a successful run in LA.

here are some songs from Batboy, the musical. including Apology to a Cow and Hold Me, Batboy.

[Gracias, Matt!]

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Lancelot Link and the Evolution Revolution--THE ALBUM!
i need this. i need this. i need this.

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metal songs about science fiction authors, sung by people dressed as nerds who throw books and library card applications into the audience. so great! thank you for existing, blöödhag!

here's a good Blöödhag interview.

and here you can hear some of their songs, in lame realaudio, but still, cool to hear.

oh yeah, and this is their here's their suggested required reading list.

america needs more edu-core.

[via librarian.net.]

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KLF's "What the Fuck's Going On?"
Here are MP3s of the entire "What the Fuck's Going On?" album by The KLF (aka The Jams, aka The Timelords, AKA The FALL--though not "The Fall" that most people probably think of when they hear that name, or "The Jams" either for that matter). After it was released, in 1987, it had to be destroyed because it sampled...well, pretty much everything, but mainly they got in trouble for sampling Abba.

Good stuff. I mean, it sounds dated now--like 2 people monkeying around with a sampler in 1987, which is exactly what it is (oh, and the rapping--like circa 1987-style rapping and sometimes rapping done with an exaggerated Scottish accent--which is not really 'old school' in any cool way), but it's still really interesting.

Also, here's a good h2g2 article on the KLF that is no longer online except in google's cache. It includes post-KLF pranks/art projects by them. (Now they are the K Project. Well, probably they're something else by now. But most recently they were the K Project.) They tried to sell a million pounds sterling for 750,000 pounds. And they also supposedly burned a million pounds.

Also, here's the full text of "The Manual" by The KLF on "how to have a number one the easy way."

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The above link is on the website, detritus.net, which i've been meaning to link to for a while, and i highly recommend you check out what else is there. There's a lot--including John Oswald's entire plunderphonic album, and similar goodies in the archive.

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Evolution Control Committee
oh hey, while we're on the audio appropriation kick, here's the latest from the Evolution Control Committee.

recommended are: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. well, really, it's all worth checking out if you have the time and the bandwidth. oh, haha, No Time for Yes is awesome.

a riddle
i deal not with locks, although i am a key.
i won't help you exit, but you can enter with me.
under your pinky is where i am found.
if you're a cursor, i'll bring you down.

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i've decided that my new lifestyle is to be one in which i compose lots of riddles. i'll sit at home in my black robe (tied with thick, coarse rope) and light lots of candles and compose riddles on parchment with a long quill pen.

on weekends i'll play chess against some hirsute stranger. at slow points in the game, i'll put my fingertips together and say, "alright. another riddle then."

this is my first riddle, though. i think it's not too difficult. i'll post the answer tomorrow. you probably already know it though. you're one step ahead of me.
03.03.01 costumes for your newborn
babies in costumes are always funny (as are monkeys in costumes). in this case, especially good: baby pansy, baby elephant, baby pea in the pod, and baby bat.

baby bat. bat baby. baby bat!

the disney ones are freaky too.

[thx, fshstck!]

03.02.01 snouts.com
people are amazing, aren't they? why have i never seen this product before? this reminds me why i love being a human. what a fantastic species of animal we are. hooray!

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The Jingle Bellies (pig music)
this is where the ship's computer in a calm, but serious, female voice should say, "vietnamese potbellied pig wearing sunglasses alert. attention, all hands, this is a vietnamese potbellied pig wearing sunglasses alert."

also, synth-pig squeal christmas songs!

yes, you read that right!

i'm downloading it right now. if i die anytime soon, please tell the people organizing things that i want this played at my funeral.

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if this isn't making the rounds already, it totally deserves to be. sign up and then call everyone you know using the computer voice (male or female). Tell them about how all their base are belong to us now. Or tell them secrets.

So fun and freaky. good pranking.

my favorite one that i did this morning started like this...

male robot voice: "Hi, I'm Bill Cosby."

oh but be careful, because every phone number you give them probably ends up in their database and when they're doing something terrible with that info in a year or two, then all your friends will hate you.

[Thanks, Mike! I thank you and everyone whose phone number I know thanks you.]

03.01.01 feather bowling
a sixth type of bowling has been discovered. From Belgium, of all places, via Detroit, of all places.

[thank you, Mr. Mark Simple, from Cardhouse of all places.]

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this site just started 3 months ago and it's showcasing some really awesome interactive work.

today, Peter Cho's java-powered square bestiary just launched.

Obzok is also nice.

As is Mosquitoes.

fun! rock!

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selling a pound of sausage
i'm not well versed on the issues that the UK Independence Party is fighting for (aside the obvious one--UK Independence), and fighting against, like mainly mandatory metrication, seems like. but i think, on the metric front, they should just carry signs that say, "WE ARE RESISTANT TO CHANGE."

we should have the same signs in america. wouldn't it be great if we started seeing tons of bumperstickers that had the word "metric" crossed out and said "anti-metrication!" and "stop the metric system now!" with tiny writing at the bottom that said, "© Americans for Standard Weights and Measures."

Anyway, aside from it being a springboard into the above mini-tirade, here's why I've linked to this page:

"UKIP member Dave Stephens breaks EU law by selling a pound of sausage."

¡Viva la revolucion, butcher Dave Stephens!

[thanks, Jim.]
dine for change
if you live in san francisco and want an excuse to go out to eat (like anyone here ever needs an excuse) and you want to help a good san francisco non-profit, then you can go to any of these restaurants today (and today only) and a portion of the money you hand over will go to SFWAR.

02.27.01 potato pictures
today, via electronic mail, i received the above link to potato pictures, a link to bacon pictures and a link to a virtual sushi party, from three separate people. i am so goddam happy about this i can't even tell you.

everything is proceeding as planned.

[Thank you John, Xina, and José.]

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condom carrying devils and aliens for you to purchase for $15, a reasonable price.

02.26.01 here we go.

02.23.01 save balazo
soon-to-be-evicted, 10-year-lease-losing, unfair-landlord-having, donation-taking, pay-pal-using, nonprofit Mission gallery.

please give them a dollar or seven dollars. you could do that right now. 7 dollars is a sandwich and a soda and maybe some chips. and you could do without that sandwich, if you know what i mean.

also, if you're in SF and have a free evening this weekend, you could go to the benefit they're having tonight (music), tomorrow (a movie) or Sunday (a dj) starting at 8 PM ish.

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catty fametracker commentary on the Grammys
one of these made me laugh out loud. it's your job to figure out which one.

02.21.01 paintings by Dick Detzner includes: St. Snugglebear, Yee Hee Hee, and more.

[sort of via obscure store.]

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Washington Post: A Game in the Gutter
really interesting Washington Post article on the disappearance of duckpin bowling lanes and the steady decline of the sport.

No one has ever bowled a 300 in duckpin bowling. No one.

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bowling writers of america.

here's the bowling writers' convention itinerary.

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Totally Bowling clipart CD
more examples, please. oh!

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duckpins.org's comedy corner: the lighter side of duckpin bowling
duckpin bowling is real heavy, man--a total downer, so i'm glad to see that there's a lighter side.

the thing that makes me angry about these photos, though, is that someone had to be standing IN THE LANE to take some of them.

also, here is why duckpins.org is my favorite website on the whole entire internet right now: the galleries. when you go to view the galleries (and you must!) also spend some time watching the movies. spend all day there if you have to.

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no-nonsense unofficial duckpin bowling facts.

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History of Duckpin Bowling
includes a picture of Babe Ruth. Duckpin bowling was the Babe's favorite sport (after baseball).

also, here's an article, Church Remembers Duckpin Bowling: "We know in our heart and in our memories that God's grace was present with us each time we bowled..."

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National Duckpin Bowling Congress

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Biscuit Dog Craft
This is what I'm going to be working on for International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day.

but first i'll need to get some wiggle eyes. i'm pretty sure i'm all out of wiggle eyes.

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preschool education calendar
Today is "Love your pet Day." Tomorrow is "Be humble day" and the 23rd is "International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day." This calendar rules.

some information about misterpants.com
Occasionally this website will poke fun at various institutions and their known eccentricities.
02.20.01 orange oscar
hey, i don't want to mess with your head too much, but, apparently, Oscar the Grouch was orange once.

(kind of like when Smithers was black.)

Also Bert, what are you doing? Are you "Doin' the Pigeon?" Bert. Hey, Bert.

same site bonus: the book, all about sesame street, 1974.

and, tons of late-60s, early-70s Sesame Street photos.

[thanks, Simon.]

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duckpin bowling pictures
i never in my whole life knew about duckpin bowling. and, while i'm kind of partially opposed to it because it violates the sacrosanct perfection of "true" bowling, i'm also drawn to it for the same exact reason. additionally, i find it intriguing as a curiosity and because the pins are cuter.

please also note the bottom picture of the pins from the 5 (known) types of bowling.