misterpants...
| date | URL | happened | other |
| 12.29.00 | peanutbuttered roast squid
Gary "Radar" Burghoff picture i forgot to mention this one yesterday. is he TRYING to look like Truman Capote? |
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| 12.28.00 | LA Weekly interview with artist, Charles Ray pretty interesting interview. Another site, Grimsby Fishmarket, has a different Charles Ray article, which is oddly formatted in 3 columns (a terrible way to format a web page) and is hard to read, but does have a picture of Ray's brilliant self-portrait/orgy-for-one, Oh! Charley, Charley, Charley... and page 2 has a picture of Family Romance, which is good as well. danish chinchilla site noted mostly for its beautiful chinch tile work. [thanks again, John] the wildlife art of Gary "Radar" Burghoff "Gary Burghoff is the QUIET GIANT of wildlife art." Unlike Buddy Ebsen, Gary Burghoff doesn't paint his own character into the wildlife scenes. Although, if I were to meet him, on the bus, say, or in a neighborhood corner store, I would tell him that he should consider it, that he should consider painting his character, Radar O'Reilly from the hit CBS television series M*A*S*H into his wildlife art. [thanks, John] |
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| 12.28.00 | LA Weekly interview with artist, Charles Ray pretty interesting interview. Another site, Grimsby Fishmarket, has a different Charles Ray article, which is oddly formatted in 3 columns (a terrible way to format a web page) and is hard to read, but does have a picture of Ray's brilliant self-portrait/orgy-for-one, Oh! Charley, Charley, Charley... and page 2 has a picture of Family Romance, which is good as well. danish chinchilla site noted mostly for its beautiful chinch tile work. [thanks again, John] the wildlife art of Gary "Radar" Burghoff "Gary Burghoff is the QUIET GIANT of wildlife art." Unlike Buddy Ebsen, Gary Burghoff doesn't paint his own character into the wildlife scenes. Although, if I were to meet him, on the bus, say, or in a neighborhood corner store, I would tell him that he should consider it, that he should consider painting his character, Radar O'Reilly from the hit CBS television series M*A*S*H into his wildlife art. [thanks, John] |
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| 12.27.00 |
The Buddy Ebsen fine art collection paintings by Uncle Jed. more of Buddy Ebsen's work is here. Yuletide Dental Magic a little late for xmas, but never too late for good dental hygiene.
pixbarn great scans of products and album covers from the good people who brought you cardhouse. remember when they brought you cardhouse? and then they took it away from you and you thought you would never forgive them. but then they brought it to you again, and let you look at it while you were eating your pancakes and everything was just like it used to be. look at every single item, because they're all good. oh, and when you're done with the products and records, don't miss the candy cigarettes. Jews of the '50s in 3D pretty great. includes one of a theremin player with the awesome caption: "The band soothes the wedding guests with the sounds of the eerie theremin." this photo is really great too. this too: bubbe & bubbe. [thanks, Jason!] |
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| 12.22.00 | Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart bios Between the two of them, they composed songs for The Monkees, New Edition, LaToya Jackson, Meatloaf and Iggy Pop. Plus they had some hits on their own and even did songs for the cartoons Scooby-Doo and Josie and The Pussycats. Plus, Redd Kross has covered them. even more on Gene Rayburn aka Mr. Matchgame another Rayburn bio. He was such a legendary gameshow host that when he died in December 1999, instead of a funeral; they held a blank . oh, here's a bunch of Gene Rayburn photos. |
protest i passed by some huge protest behind city hall yesterday. couldn't for the life of me figure out what was being protested. it was like everyone was being quiet and waiting for the tv camera's little red light to come on. that's what was totally weird--no people were walking by, so it was a protest entirely for television. and the whole group of protesters were all crammed into one tiny area so that they would fill the screen, i assume. they were all squished in together, looking kind of bored, waiting for their cue. i considered joining them in protesting whatever it was, but if it was something i don't agree with then i would at least want them to pay me. which, then i was thinking that that could be a good business. here's how it would work: someone wants to stir up shit about something--probably some company that wants to do some awful thing that would never be allowed unless they get everyone worked up over some non-issue. they call me and get me to organize a huge protest that makes their phony point. i organize the protest and get the tv cameras there. then i was wondering--and not to get to whacked-out conspiracy-headed, but does the phony protest business already exist? |
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| 12.21.00 |
history of The Runaways "Many consider them to have been groundbreakers, ahead of their time, forbearers of punk and the first important all-woman rock band. Others think they were nothing but a male-manipulated novelty act, pushing kiddy-porn fantasies and peddling simple three-chord rock. They were actually a little of both...." bonus: The Runaways - Live in Japan, signed album cover gameshow icon, Gene Rayburn's life story "Your Funky Smell Has Got To Go, It's Time For A Makeover On The Jenny Jones Show" from the archive of makeover magic photos on the website of the first lady of american crap tv, ms. jenny jones. here's mike, before and after. dramatic. |
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| 12.20.00 | plopp the latest item in the misterpants artifacts collection is this swedish candy bar named plopp. i've been lugging this candy bar around since May, but finally scanned it in. now, do i eat it? do i eat a 7-month-old candy bar named Plopp? the monkees & Boyce & Hart signed dry cleaning receipts. the inexplicable object of the week: fart bombs for the discriminating humor connoisseur who not unseldomly finds merriment in mass-produced fart-related novelty items. teddybear sthlm i love swedish pop music. and the music these guys do is really good--totally polished and slick and well-produced. (here's some realaudio.) (i'm not sure what's up with the crude ballpoint pen drawing of the four band members having intercourse.) ps. robots! |
the mci worldcom call last night mci operator: we show that you have an unpaid amount of $71.83 on your account. me: and it also says "billing error" on there, right? mci operator: oh. you're right. yes it does. i'm sorry. this is a mistake. me: yeah. so, your computer has been calling us every night for 3 months. sometimes the person i talk to says the problem can't be solved. sometimes they say it can be solved and then they say that they've taken care of it, but then we get called again the next night. now, we've established that this is an error; is there some way for you to take us off the list of people that get called every night? can you solve this problem? mci operator: yes, i can. do you mind holding for just one moment? me: no. and then the mci operator just hung up. |
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| 12.16.00 |
your ad here: i hate you - here's 5 pounds of popcorn good issue of your ad here. well, they're all good, but this one, about depressing holiday-themed tins of popcorn touches on the inherent melancholy of the holidays, foodstuffs, and the state of human society in the year 2000, etc. super butter dog just a freaky page--part of the website for the japanese band, super butter dog. that's all. andrew olson's web art really nice and fun--almost like a "screensaver's greatest hits." do you like sine? do you like cosine? well, then you'll love andrew olson's web art. these only work in netscape, by the way. bird diapers thank god someone is making bird diapers. "Reusable diaper safely contains droppings for up to six hours." and then...BOOM! ha, i don't even really know what that means. oh, and good god! bird costumes. santa, uncle sammy, and lucky the leprechaun are all too good for words. and what's with all the photos of people kissing their birds? do birds like that? the pictures are good too. and i'll bet the movie's a treat, but i can't seem to get it to load. [Thanks a whole bunch, Steve] |
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| 12.14.00 | boy george and Mr. T, buddies [thanks, scout.] |
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| 12.13.00 |
the History of American Top 40 super interesting. for one thing, you can read about the origin of the Long Distance Dedication. (Like many bad things in the history of rock, Paul McCartney shoulders some of the blame.) oh, and you can listen to a history of AT40 jingles as well. nice! and obsessive! punkmagazine.com the magazine that coined the term (according to Legs McNeil, anyway) is now a domain name with a bunch of scans of covers and other stuff--like this great article on the Punk Awards Show of 1978. (kind of interesting--i guess the site is pretty much new since the last time google updated its cache.) [via gmt+9] human torch diary entry oh my god. human torch is a genius. seriously. this is addressed to me, but you can read it. and you should read all of it because it's short and because at first you might think "wait, what? genius? bah!" but by the time you get to the end, you'll be certain. holy crap. or maybe it's just me. but i keep reading it and cracking up. |
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| 12.10.00 |
letters to jerry letters from jerry springer fans to jerry.com which is not jerry springer's website. so awesome and borderline coherent. a taste: "yo why don't you feel like getting up off your but and looking on the computer for the jerry. s what do you thank the computer is here for for you to give us wha whatwe need oki you need to get a grip on what you have to do around there ok by. ps get it to getter" oh wow, and this really makes you think: "have you ever thought how jerry feels when he wakes up in the morning or how jerry feels when he goes to sleep at nite.NO. he might have to cry hiself to sleep because of the way he thinks people think of him.NO.So in other words you are an ASSHOLE,BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" happy holidays. one more: "why do you need all those guards on your show why cant you just let the people fight.And let the people cause and show there body parts and move to HBO so they will let you cause and fight and show there body parts." (i think the last one was written by brak.) merry xmas from NTV (~350k flash.) cute! gloves for monkeys. a scarf for kappa. compared to japanese christmas, american christmas really bites. the other movies on this page are nice too. |
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| 12.07.00 |
Vinnie the Tampon Case Distributor from adiosbarbie.com. also you can visit Vinnie's Tampon Case online. What really happens when you say, "Let Me Talk to a Supervisor!" from east bay express. interesting article written by a Pacific Bell tech support person--helps explain why their tech support sucks so bad. apparently, the kafka-esque experience of calling pac bell tech support is perfectly matched by the kafka-esque experience of working for pac bell tech support. speaking of phone support nightmares, mci worldcom has a computer call here every evening around 7 pm to remind us to pay a bill that was paid 3 months ago. then, every evening, an operator comes on to see if we wanna take care of that with a credit card. then, every evening we explain that they've made an error. they credited our payment to the wrong account. their computers actually verify that fact. what their computers cannot do, is tell the computer that calls us every evening to stop calling. "there's nothing we can do to stop it." that's what they all say. the machine that calls us every night and says "please hold for an mci worldcom operator" cannot be stopped. i mean, if it was a person calling us every evening, we could call the cops to have them stop harrassing us. then, every evening that evening's tech support person pretends to do the thing that should have been done in the beginning. and every evening we're promised that now finally it's been taken care of once and for all. or, alternately we're given a course of action whereby WE can do some work in order to rectify the problem. (twice this has meant contacting our bank. once this meant writing a letter.) so i want to celebrate MCI Worldcom in December, by making December the official month of If You Know Someone Who Works At MCI Worldcom, Go Up To Them And Hit Them As Hard As You Can In The Mouth Month. Happy Holidays! p.s. sorry to bore you with my personal hell. but, damn! every single night. |
stage 3 power alert tv news: "stay tuned to learn more about california's power emergency." instead of... "turn off your damn tv now." ha. duh. |
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| 12.06.00 |
Billboard Liberation Front modifies dot-com billboards on 101 (pictures!) from the BLF press release: "Billboards in the target sector were graphically enhanced by the addition of large-format warning labels, in the style of a standard computer error message, bearing the bold copy: 'FATAL ERROR - Invalid Stock Value - Abort/Retry/Fail'." also here's a Chronicle article about the BLF, which has a sort of funny quote and uses the word "dyspeptic." But, oddly, no pictures of the billboards. |
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| 12.05.00 | japanese page noted for the animated gif of a guy jumping around in his underwear
talking beer opener the guests on jerry springer right now are all dressed in matching pilot uniforms. i thought that was going to be the shining highlight of my morning, but then the show also had an ad for the amazing talking beer opener. just in time for christmas. here's what it says. |
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| 12.04.00 |
IT PAYS TO BRING A FAT GUY TO A HOT DOG EATING CONTEST you can't argue with the truth. good, funny diary entry. hot dog eating contests are inherently nasty, but this one is nasty even beyond that. two quotes: "Each team was assigned a judge and our judge was legitimately horrified..." and "At this time, I'd sincerely like to apologize to the two guys from 97 Jamz...." oh, i like this too, so one more quote. this one doesn't involve hot dogs: "For our hat-decorating contest, I wrote "Sho'" on my hat and "Nuff" on his hat, since the theme is "Sho' Nuff Fun!" this year. No...we didn't have a third person available for "Fun". That's how lame our idea was. We did two-thirds of the Fair's logo." sumo sailor moon sumo wrestlers dressed as characters from sailor moon. i'm not much into sumo or sailor moon, but i'm a huge fan of whatever this is. [thx, xina.] booska background info i love booska. also, way more booska, here. Welcome to O Haeng Saeng Shik's HOMEPAGE !!! Korean page explaining how face shape relates to character, fruit and vegetables, and domestic animals. based on this information, the rest of the site works logically towards the conclusion that we should eat only raw grains and "YUKKI" foods, which Ohaeng Saengshik Co., Ltd will sell you. Nöle C. Giulini interesting art. the internet is a good way to check out art that you want to see, but don't necessarily want to smell.
happy holidays from robokon and also ho ho ho, merry christmas. postcard from an artist's mom "This page is designed to help mothers speak out and ask Steve Dietz, Director of New media Initiatives at the Walker Art Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota, to publicly express his views on the Genius 2000 Video First Edition." the artist's mother's own postcard is the background image on the page, so wait for it to load, if you care to see it. a whole lotta love there may be no such thing as too much love, but there is such a thing as too much love clip art. |
message from a 3 year old I am a big brother. A little sister named Annie. I know a rhyme. Sad, bad, mad. I am going to invite you to my party it is April, April my birthday is April fourth and you know what else which cake do you like, there is chocolate, honey bunch kin, cherry sauce. Bye. |
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