11.08.00 Cher to Voters: "Has everyone lost their fucking minds?"
this is kind of old news now, but thank you, cher. good question.

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Funtastic Events: Theme Party Division
[thanks a whole bunch, human torch]

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Corporate Deathburger
lyrics by MDC. i like the lyrics. i like them on 2 levels: the level where they're criticizing corporate america back in 1982 before doing that got trendy, and also the level where the writing sounds like parody of someone criticizing corporate america.

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Diaper Lines, Sanitary Napkin Machines, Wet Wipe Machines

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images of diapers
some not-too-shabby images of diapers, in fact. this diagram is my favorite. it's from DiaperLand Taiwan which would be a great name for a themepark.

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"Now, there is a solution to the problem of dog waste: a revolutionary dog diaper that will permanently transform dog care everywhere."

Oh, also it says here that, "The dog diaper is fashionable..."

i wonder what compelled the author to make that claim.

you can download the dog diaper video and see the product in use. it is wicked weird. but also nice because the video's director thought to score it with an upbeat jazzy little number which goes really well with the sped-up footage of a dog going to the bathroom in a dog diaper.

and here are color drawings of the fashionable, patented dog diaper.

oh, this is kind of good too: Estimated Use of the Dog Diaper. The estimate assumes that by 1995, 1% all US dogs will be wearing dog diapers.
what a freaky election, huh? i stayed up really late and watched the newscasters get all loopy and overtired.

Around 2 a.m., Dan Rather told a reporter phoning in to, "call us back in a little bit to tell us if you know anything new and call us back in a little bit even if you don't know anything new so that when you call us back you can tell us that you don't know anything new." (not a direct quote but almost.)

oh, and Peter Jennings did this awesome thing right after he interviewed someone (i forget who--someone from the Gore camp) where he thanked the person and described them as, "always always in public situations anyway extremely cordial." the way he said it he emphasized "always always" and "extremely cordial" and kind of breezed by the words "in public situations anyway" so it was like the subliminal guy from old saturday night live.

10.31.00 new pocky commercials
pocky commercials featuring J-Pop superduperstars, Morning Musume.

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christian cartoons from reverend fun
these cartoons are well drawn, and in some cases actually funny, but here's the really fun part: you can mess with the URL and write your own captions.

i've made some kind of lame examples to get you started: 1, 2, 3. have fun!

[gracias Kal X. for the URL hackery.]

[addendum: oh my goodness. Reverend Fun has fixed the trick that let you re-write the URL. And added a picture of a sheep in a misterpants t-shirt. which rules.]

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How to Defeat GI Joe
30 tips for Cobra Commander from a retired Army sergeant. includes:

"27. Don't Spend So Much Money Making Everything Look Like Snakes The gimmick is good, but it's adding millions to your operating costs."


"8. Set Your Bombs Three Seconds Fast The Joes let the counter reach 00:01 in most cases."

[thanks, Terence.]

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rodeo monkey
i said rodeo monkey.

i like to imagine a barroom brawl that's centered around that phrase.

[thanks, mr. human torch.]

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japanese web comics
odd. and hard to figure out just what's going on in them. but the drawings are kind of cute of course.

2 especially weird ones: 1 and 2.

[once again, thanks Scout.]

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Hero Snacks from Glico
whoa, look at the hand-shaped bad guy from barom 1.

also, look at inazuman.

and robot keiji with his handsome cap.

you should probably check out all 8 hero snack cards.

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i pity the fool,
who portrays my countenance
on their microchip.

[thanks for the T link, Wardley. i love T links. i love T.]

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they call it chreese because they couldn't think of anything more awkward.

"coming soon: Nacho Chreese Dips"

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cassandra fax project
fun project by mashica. they faxed artists. artists faxed back.

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expo 70
great black and white pictures of Expo 70 in Osaka. Geodesic architecture and an enormous sculpture by Taro Okamoto.

bonus link from the above: japan pics from 1970.

[via gmt+9.]

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expo '74
if we're hitting the 70s expos, let's not overlook the small but thoroughly enjoyable Expo '74 in Spokane. (nice logo.)

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who is rockin' jelly bean?
"Rockin' Jelly Bean was raised in the city of Kyoto, Japan. His family was pretty normal by most standards. Since Elementary school, he enjoyed drawing, particularly cartoons. In Junior high school, he ... began creating his own versions of beautiful, often naked, female subjects.... One day his mom found out and lectured him "Don't be a pervert". But he never gave up...."
message from Steve Raleigh of newscenter 4
NewsCenter 4 Nightbeat staff meteorologist Steve Raleigh said that we shouldn't put our umbrellas away just yet, but I think I'm going to go ahead and put mine away.

10.26.00 here's the deleted love scene from TRON
TRON rules. don't forget that TRON rules, okay?

and "love scene from TRON" would be a great band name.

Also on, some mp3s from the TRON soundtrack.

hey, did you forget already? please don't forget; TRON rules.

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cuddly bunnies
cuddly buddly widdly wuddly fuddly duddly biddly middly muddly.

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how to draw Slash from G'N'R.
oh, speaking of cuddly buddly widdly wuddly, here's how to draw Slash.

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article from The Daily Yomiuri on some new Japanese television ads
"You will be this man standing at the bow of a ship, talking on a cell phone. There will be a design, no, some copy, rather, that says, 'KDD, DDI and IDO will merge,' underneath it."

"Uhmm, a normal person wouldn't be standing there using a phone," the actor says.

"Oh, but it symbolizes being ahead of the times."

"Whatever. It's still weird."
Office Depot xerox machine freak out
i had to photocopy a bunch of pictures of Mexican wrestlers. (Which I just learned are called luchador in Spanish, and I think that's a really beautiful word. Here's another beautiful Spanish word: langosta. It means lobster.)

Anyway, I had to photocopy a bunch of luchador photos and also a bunch of line art of guys using industrial carpet cleaners, plus a photo of Regis Philbin.

And I was a-xeroxin' and a-xeroxin' for like 40 minutes and everyone who came to use the other photocopiers looked at what I was copying and then looked at me like I was a total freak.

Then when I was finished, I told this guy who was waiting that he could use my machine because I was done and he basically pretended not to hear me and then refused to use my machine, as if by using it he might catch the dreaded debilitating illness that I have which causes me to photocopy line art of industrial carpet cleaners.

10.25.00 barbie girl, if it had been a song that played in the background of an Audrey Hepburn movie
so classy. it's from a French TV show, which that fact alone makes it pretty classy.

From this website, Colette, which is also French and i kind of like it.

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Big Magazine
seems pretty awesome. like a photography and/or fashion magazine, but way more interesting and kind of twisted. i'd buy every single issue, if i could.

i mean, check out Horror. morbid. great.

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Donna's World Famous "Long & Short of It!"
Donna has collected groupies' explicit(!) comments on the various rock musicians with whom they've had sex.

Before you visit the site, take a moment to think about the engineers who worked hard in the 1960s to develop the TCP/IP protocol in order to make pages like Donna's World Famous "Long & Short of It!" possible.

[this is via an old issue of Zaa Zaa Furi.]

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"a streaming index of ideas and inspirations to kickstart creative reactions..."

it's basically a weblog, but it's flash-based, completely visual, and every day is organized around a theme.


oh, today they link to this DIY style page which is kind of funny.

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image files from the world wide web
some images for you. sorry, no context. [thanks, edt, for the chair.]

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heathrow airport announcements pranks
good concept. okay execution.

[thanks, Scout.]

plug for pantsmail
Again, I'm plugging Pantsmail, my one-way mailing list. If you like reading this page, then you'll probably like reading Pantsmail. However, if you hate reading this page and someone is making you read it right now, then I'm really sorry, and you probably won't like Pantsmail very much, either.

Sign up, here, chum.

Still not sure? Well, of course you can browse the archives.

Folks seemed to take a liking to #006 on account of it being significantly less dumb than the first 5.

And I just sent out #007.

10.20.00 rpsonc
oh man, oh man. such great flash. simple, elegant, funny. if this isn't going around already, i'm surprised.

it's "rabbi phunkiewsky's school of new communication."

it gets better once you get past the freak screen.

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kind of a cool toy--editable website. along the lines of metababy, but you can only make changes to certain things. so, unlike metababy, there's a page structure already in place.

oh, here's how they describe it, which is maybe better than the above description by me. Certainly more succinct:

"public interactive graffiti space..."

[Thanks E.B.A.]

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i drew this llama and it made me happy.

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neil hamburger audio clip
just a snippet. but worth it if you like the anti-comedy. seriously not funny, but so not funny that it's funny. or not.

courtesy of aquarius records. Aquarius has audio clips now, god bless 'em.

oh, this is neil too--auditioning for a band. this one's got some anti-comedy and some abuse of the classic prank phone call variety and he's even thrown in some making fun of rockers. we all enjoy a good laugh at the expense of rockers. again, just a snippet.
Mr. T on christian TV
when i was in LA, i saw Mr. T on the Trinity Broadcast Network. And he was awesome. He was a better evangelist than the host of the show. He was reciting Bible passages like they're going out of style (which they are, actually).

i think wrestling banter is good training for evangelist banter. just substitute "in the ring" with "at church." and switch out "I'm gonna tear your head off," with "praise Him."
this is what i learned yesterday: no store will take back used q-tips. Of course they don't tell you that when you buy the product. No, they wait until you're trying to get your deposit back.

"No store will take back used Q-tips." That is, in fact, exactly what the guy at Rite Aid said. He went on to say, "there is no such thing as a Q-Tip deposit." He was super rude about it too. And of course Rite Aid was like the fifth store I went to. If the woman at the first store (Safeway) had explained that, I could have saved myself an afternoon of driving around.
10.17.00 The Amazing Chimpanzee Puppet
"My new chimpanzee is so realistic it's going to blow you away!"

Thank you, Jesus for the Christian monkey puppets. (Some kind of Darwin joke would be appropriate here, I suppose.)

here's info on how jungle puppets are made. and there's a photo there of the guy who sculpted the original Barbie. His name is Tony Bulone. i hope he pronounces it "Tony Baloney."

please note how thoughtful this site is. it includes some chimp sounds for you to imitate. here's a Relaxed Hooting Sound. and Angry or Nervous screaming. imitate them on the bus!

plus this rules. bird steals hat. watch out, mister, that bird's gonna get your hat! a classic.

(this is from the makers of veggietales, annoying christian vegbetable puppets. Ministers need puppets. Who knew?)

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the site's okay. the printed zine is better. i saw it available in a handful of places in LA. I haven't seen it in SF, but I haven't looked. Yesterday, I did see a flyer plastered to a wall in SF with their spaceman character on it.

anyway, check out the site for just a taste, just a little morsel, just a little something to pique your tastebuds, but be aware that the printed zine has more to it and is pretty good--a glittering gem in the otherwise usually lackluster zine section.


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The fact is, if all churches had monkeys, God would be happy again.

here are Chippy's pictures and Chippy's family album. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ah. Ah. Ah.

(That's the noise a chimp makes.)

oh, here's the Chippy story: " I also dressed him in children's clothing since nobody comes to church to see naked chimpanzees." Speak for yourself, Pastor Steve.


Chippy and Pastor Steve are sitting at the dining room table and Chippy is obviously in great pain... he got his hand caught in a mousetrap... As Pastor Steve unwraps Chippy's hand, he discovers the problem: Chippy hadn't taken his fingers out of the trap! Sin is kind of like that trap. God wants to save us from our sin but we have to take our hand out of the trap!"
another LA celebrity story
This one doesn't directly involve me. It involves a friend's grandparents, who we shall call Grandma and Grandpa H.

Grandma and Grandpa H live in LA right across the street from the girlfriend of Slash, the former Guns N Roses guitarist.

Here's some of what Grandpa H has to say about Slash:

  • He's a nice enough, except that he doesn't look so good on account of all the "hard living" he's done.

  • On a related note, Grandpa H gestured across the street and confided that, "You know they do the drugs over there."

  • Slash and his friends are mad at Grandma and Grandpa H because they think that G and G are the ones who called the cops when Slash and friends left town with all their reptiles running loose in the backyard. (There's a room of the house just devoted to their many reptiles.) Really it was the neighbors next door who called the cops AND THEN BLAMED IT ON GRANDMA AND GRANDPA H! Mr. Slash, if you're reading this, please don't be mad at Grandma and Grandpa H.

  • This is unrelated but also worth mentioning, maybe just as a word of warning. (Or perhaps something to look forward to?) When you visit Grandpa H, Grandpa might invite you to take a gander at his amputated toe. (He explained that, "some people want to see it.")
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hollywood gossip!
look at me, i'm all full of gossip today.

this may or may not be true. (hence, it's called 'gossip.' duh.) Beck is on the road to becoming yet another victim of Hollywood Scientology.

Oh, wait, here's the same info in gossip columnist format:

Word has it that Beck won't be breaking any Sexx Laws anytime soon. A little bird told yours truly that the blonde rocker is seriously considering Scientology. Don't do it, Beck--or if you do, at least don't let it make you as boring as it made John Travolta. Egad.

Jack was Jimmy on H.R. Pufnstuf. He was also in the movie adaptation of Oliver. That's kind of interesting, but his site's not all that interesting. Well, this interview is okay.

also, photos.

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requiem for a dream
movie site that deconstructs the web. draws pretty liberally from existing net art sites, but is still pretty engaging.

[thanks, evg!]

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diary of a dot com junkie
dunno if this SF Bay Guardian article is phony or not, but it was fairly compelling reading: anonymous author works full-time at an internet start-up and is also a heroin addict.

kind of makes too big a deal about how even someone working for an internet company could be a drug addict, like that's supposed to be shocking.

includes tips on getting high at the office and advice on where to buy heroin in san francisco. it would have been great if those 2 sections were done as sidebars.

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Rinnie's Diary
great diary entry.

"Last Thursday, in school, a school-men worker was painting the walls. But not all the walls. A lot of people have accidentally touched the wall, and couldnt get the paint off their hands. I accidentally touched the wall too, and I was very worried, because I couldnt get the paint off my hand!..."

[Thanks, Scout.]

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Billy Hayes, a.k.a. Witchiepoo from H.R. Pufnstuf, is about to auction her magic wand and shoes from the show on ebay. I could dig owning that wand.

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H. R. Pufnstuf collectibles
some good stuff here, especially on the collectibles page.
2 gen-u-ine Los Angeles ceee-lebrity sightings
  1. Hank Azaria petting a dog, outside a laundromat. He looked totally normal and unassuming and just like Hank Azaria. i'm not like a fan or anything, but hey it's hank azaria.

  2. old guy. i don't know his name or what i've seen him in, but i was eating in an indian restaurant and he was one table away. he's some old guy who always plays "the old neighbor" or "the old guy on the bench" type characters, but a little edgier than most of those old guys. spunky, but with a dark side. i'm sure i hadn't seen him in a while, but maybe he could've been on an episode of Newhart or something. he totally looked like a Newhart kind of old guy. Now he's sporting a too-short pony tail, although I'm sure he didn't have that when he was on Newhart or whatever.