dateURLjapan stuffother
07.27.00 mao as elvis
for everyone who's ever wanted to see mao's face on elvis' body, this is your big chance.

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sapporo bottle can
sapporo's new "shot bottle" is a bottle made out of aluminum. it's cool looking. there's an ad you can download here for it, but it's kind of lame. there are better ads on tv--featuring gaijin sky divers and bad guys i think. i forget, actually.

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tokyo rail transport map
one big huge gif detailing the intricacies of this sprawling urban center. if it were the nervous center of an actual living organism, i would want to be a mighty germ-avenging leukocyte.

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how cute is this? this small town in Hokkaido has big plans to host the Japanese version of the space shuttle. and also something called mini-volleyball was invented there.

also, do mouse-over and click the cows.

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oh and while we're on the subject of adorable eccentricities of small towns in the Obihiro area of Hokkaido, please read the second paragraph on this one: "This Santa Claus atmosphere is to be found throughout the town."
This is interesting. Psychedelic mushrooms are not illegal in Japan. It's a loophole. They were just never outlawed.
a lesson i learned a while back, which it's good to remind myself about every now and then
morningstar farms vegetarian corndogs are good. IN MODERATION.
07.25.00 Pink Lady - SOS.mp3
another idrive mp3 file gift for you, little chicken! did you know that i call you little chicken? i usually never mention it on this page, but in my personal life, when i refer to you (which i do, often), you're my little chicken!

This SOS is not an Abba cover, but a Pink Lady original straight out of 1976 and into your hard drive. SOS was their first #1 hit; it's a sugar-coated, upbeat happy-fest. I think it will make you smile, little chicken.

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pink lady interview

"Masuda has been quoted as saying,... that, from the beginning, 'I was very aware that we were a product.' Indeed, Nemoto recalls,... 'They didn't ask us for our opinions very often. They made our characters for us.'"

this is a good quote too:

"'Pink Lady's characters were somewhat machinelike, like the Bionic Woman, and we were able to double our energy (from the crowd's enthusiasm).'"

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old atari commercials
from the early 80s when the whole family with tortoise shell glasses and perfectly-feathered hair played Atari together on the couch and smiled real big the whole time.

That's Jack Pallance narrating the Atari Computer commercial. I wish I could've watched him saying "Pac-Man" and "Super-breakout."

[via Jakob Barnett's LiveJournal. thx!]

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biodegrading garbage processor
best is this hungry microbe.

oh, these are pretty good too. especially: "The embarrassment of having strangers see what you throw away."

oh yeah, and here's how decomposition works.

now i'm starting to actually want one of these things, so that I can enjoy a more pleasant lifestyle.

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Andy Warhol Doll
super duper.

what would Andy think? W.W.A.T.? it's good to always stop and ask yourself before you do something: What Would Andy Think?

[from David E. thanks mucho, muchacho!]

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nice url name. spend a moment with this Issey Miyake flash trip-out.

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some kind of hippie online retailing disaster or something. just flashes retail hippie messages into your retina at a zero-refresh rate. must. buy. tie. dyes.

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who is happy ho ho?
here's a hint. "Hobbies: Spreading Joy..."

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Ojai Male Encounter Group
extended version of the Sexx Laws video with nine extra awesome painful minutes with the Ojai Male Encounter Group.

"my name is steven and i am dancing in your minds. i'm an anger swallower. i wanna fly."

[thanks, bjorn.]

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that foot measuring thing. it's called a brannock.

according to fit info, shoes don't stretch. that's just shoe salesperson charlatan talk. damn them.

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pretty good anpanman site
Mass Gastric Survey Bus with Realtime Digital Radiography System
At the side exit of the building I work in, for the past 3 days, there's been a big mobile home. Written on the side of it is, "Mass Gastric Survey Bus with Realtime Digital Radiography System."

And on the ground, just outside the door of the bus, is a pile of shoes. Yesterday they were men's shoes. Today there were fewer shoes, all women's. I assume these shoes belong to the people who are participating in the Mass Gastric Survey.

And I'm terrified that i will be made to participate in this Mass Gastric Survey. I don't know what it is. But i know for certain that i don't wanna board that bus.

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i heart immigration officials
Here are some funny jokes that the head guy at the immigration office told me. This was after lots of sighing and headshaking over my paperwork (which my paperwork was fine) and also after assigning me of a bunch of arbitrary new paperwork and general hateful bureaucratic hassle:

"That needs to be stamped by your employer and returned on Monday. But we're closed Monday.... HAHA, just kidding, not really closed."

This was a good one too: "Your paperwork is too late. You'll have to leave the country immediately." Get it? AHAHAHAHAAHA.

sunshine, lollipops, rainbows, and immigration officials.

07.14.00 purin
as you can see, their gimmick is that they wear giant puddings on their heads. these guys were in downtown Tokyo handing out flyers. they were happy to pose for one picture, but they were too busy and famous to pose for a second.

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Tatsumo Orimoto at the Hara Museum
his bread man work is pretty interesting, but his photos of his mom are my favorites.

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A Young Person's Guide to Holst's 'Planets' - Mars
"...much of the score of Star Wars consists of John William's variations. In particular, compare the climax of this movement to the music accompanying the destruction of the Death Star."

probably you already knew this because you're such a damn genius, but me, i never knew this. and i think this is cool.

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civil war clothespin art.
"'Clothespin dolls' were sold by some veterans to help support themselves. They were constructed from a wooden clothespin and attired in patriotic colors. Sometimes the material came from uniforms or pieces of battle flags. Most dolls depicted the wound of the veteran."

also, non-Civil War-related clothespin art

last but not least, EggArt. for example, this egg santa claus is perhaps one of the scariest santa clauses ever.

Carla is crafty.

Abe Lincoln impersonator fan fiction publication delay
I just heard from the publisher. Apparently one of the contributors has admitted that his story was plagiarized from something posted on alt.fiction.abe-lincoln-impersonator. So we're going to have to take another really close look at ALL the submissions. That's going to push the publication date back at least 2 months.

It's very disappointing, however, this extra time will mean an even more polished final publication.

Oh yeah, and it really will be 2 months, this time. I know I said it would be a 2 month delay before (when the super-beard story was withdrawn) and it ended up being a lot more, but this time it should really be only 2 months.
07.13.00 vacuum records
is cool. but their site is all in japanese. still, you don't have to read japanese to appreciate this.

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portal of sweat
a well-done fan site for everyone's favorite Japanese electrolyte sugar water, Pocari Sweat.

includes a pretty big list of pocari sweat links.

[nice find. thank you, Creepy.]

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video clip of Jenny Jones' debut on Star Search
i wish they showed her telling more than one joke. and that she had even bigger hair. and more glitter on her dress.

[via metascene. metascene has been updating again lately, and is good. and. and! AND! the annoying pop-up is gone.]

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We are the Cork Dolls
this is so much weirder and cooler than if it was (as one might expect) a band named, 'The Cork Dolls.' These are actual intricate little dolls made out of corks, beautifully photographed, in scenes ranging from outer space, to the circus, to classic Chinese fables.


after you've looked through the gallery, be sure to learn Who's Who in Cork Dolls.

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april 2000 Geneseo launch
pictures of guys with big rockets.
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Generator of Pulsed Ion Beam with High Purity
hey baby, don't get upset--it ain't nuthin' but a high purity pulsed ion beam.

good gif.

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Full Tilt - Top Fuel Dragracer becomes team pursuit expert
cool for 3 reasons, each of which compounds the coolness of the other reasons, making this something which is actually cool to the power of 3.
  1. it's a drag racer.
  2. it's also a transformer.
  3. it's made out of legos.
and other lego-made transformers are here.

[thanks, Creepy.]

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boy scout clip art
for all your non-gay boyscout needs, because now it's official and everyone knows: the boy scouts of america do not like gay people. so, whatever you do, do not use this clip art for gay purposes. that is all.

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Yellow Magic Orchestra
I put a YMO mp3, Absolute Ego Dance, in my idrive J-Pop folder. YMO is Japan's answer to Kraftwerk. Stylistically similar, but where Kraftwerk are mostly stoic (like German robots), YMO is mostly happy (like Japanese robots).

they were around mostly from 1978 to 1984, but then fired up again in the early 1990s for a few years, plus they've had a bunch of remixes and reissues along the way. here's a discography.

so, download Absolute Ego Dance from the idrive. idrive is slow but free (just like you and me).

also, i fixed the moter man mp3, so that can be downloaded now too. i had the permissions set wrong because i'm a chowderhead.

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africanized honey bee alert
look out, that bee is angry.

[thank you, Terence.]

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Belle Gunness exhibit from the LaPorte County Historical Society
now it's time to pay tribute to Belle Gunness, LaPorte Indiana's claim to fame--a female serial killer from the turn of the (last) century.

female serial killers are pretty rare, i guess.
milk panic
there's all this stuff in the news about a milk plant in Osaka that sold contaminated milk. then, after the milk was recalled, they re-sold the recalled milk, some of which was past the expiration date. they did some other stupid stuff as well; they're sloppy, thoughtless milk producers.

anyway, now the milk plant has been shut down. (and here comes the best part.) the English language news reports keep referring to concerns about a "milk panic."

you've seen those scenes in godzilla movies, where terrified japanese citizens look over their shoulders as they run, screaming, down the street? the same exact thing happens during a milk panic.
Abe Lincoln impersonator fan fiction
The book is almost finished, so I'm no longer accepting Abe Lincoln impersonator fan fiction. For now, please stop sending your stories. (But don't throw them out! Hold on to them until I'm ready to begin volume two!)

Although the erotic stories which were sent are being considered, they are unlikely to be included in the published version.