dateURLjapan stuffother
03.17.00 inflatable bondage chair on ebay
the ability to deflate and put away sex-related furniture probably makes it easier to incorporate into your (non-bondage) lifestyle.

"Why, hello. What a pleasant surprise! Won't you have some cookies and tea? Please, make yourself comfortable in my bondage chair while I put the water on."

03.16.00 spaced out/genuine latin love machine
maraca-playing robot, play me some sweet, sweet maraca robot rhythms, won't you, please.

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kind of cool. then go to the behind the scenes page.

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sherlock2 banner ad killer
i haven't downloaded it yet. i will.

[thanks S. Trebor.]

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other sherlock2 ad patches and stuff
plus an interesting review of the 5.0 versions of IE and NS for Mac from another sad and frustrated mac fan.

[thanks Dan.]

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another Sherlock2 fixer
de-uglifies it. that dumb brush-metal...gone. nice. i haven't tried this yet either, but in theory, nice.

[from Jessica.]

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awesome illo of pikachu jumping out of a doom guy's gut
from cnet: it's not just boring news and bad tv anymore. oh wait, yes it is.

[arigato, Skada.]
Japan: more comb-overs per capita than the US
Japan definitely has more. And some of them in Japan are also much more extreme too. Oh my god. Like, starting FROM BELOW THE EAR going all the way to the other side.


I'm organizing a comb-over conference. Men with comb-overs from every nation of the world are invited to attend for in-depth comb-over lectures and panel discussions. Hats and really short buzz cuts are not allowed, because if you wanna be part of the crew, you gotta display the 'do.

Attendance will be free with comb-over.

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cyndi lauper
what artist to better personify the "big in japan" cliche? she's not huge here but unlike in america, her influence is still here, like in car commercials and lots of other stuff.

03.14.00 official Channel 5 (UK) site about The Tribe
I like that there are contemporary TV shows that I've never ever seen or heard of which are really elaborate and involved with a whole future history and a fan base.

The Tribe is made in New Zealand, and it looks really, really bad. Kind of like Mad Max meets Degrassi Jr. High at a parody of a tribal techno rave.

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more idrive junk
I monkeyed around a bit more with the idrive thing.

So now I have all the Japanese music in a folder called J-Pop (although technically it's not all Pop). Also I added another cheesy pop song.

Because I ran out of space, I opened a second account and moved stuff around.

Stuff other people uploaded is here: idrive/misterpants0.

J-Pop I uploaded is here: idrive/misterpants.

Yeah, and still feel free to drop more stuff in either Dropbox. It's all good. Oh, and do check out the stuff that's there. Like that totally insane Red Sovine song and the cover of the Buggles' "Video Killed the Radio Star." (Which is mislabeled by the way. It's not Radiohead. I wish it was. It's really The President's of The United States of America.) And more good stuff too, yeah. Even kraken.gif is really good.

Thanks again to everyone who left crazy crap!

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fern forest media blitz
i forgot to mention these yesterday. all the press coverage of Fern and Charlie Chipmunk.

3 quotes about their Intergalactic Space Show:

"Fern and Charlie Chipmunk entered clad in gold and silver spacesuits..."

"Fern and Charlie Chipmunk entertain their delighted audiences with a series of songs and stories that celebrate the wonders of outer space and inner respect for 'all life forms'."

"As the smoke reappeared, and the space ship blasted off for unknown journeys, hungry space travelers enjoyed cookies and juice in the town hall foyer..."
cherry blossom viewing
in my japanese language textbook, the characters have conversations that start like this, "Where do you think is the best place to view the cherry blossoms in Kyoto?" And the funniest thing about that is that Japanese people really do have that exact conversation. A lot!

Seriously, people are psyched for the cherry blossoms to show up. According to the news, they will likely be 2 days early this year because of the mild winter. So start planning your sakura-viewing parties now! Seriously.

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Happy White Day.
stupid Apple
Oh man, if I'd known how bad Apple ruined Sherlock (now Sherlock2), I wouldn't have installed System 9. Ugh, banner ads in my OS. I'm in hell. And no preference to get rid of their cheesy bad stock photo icons that i have to see every time I wanna find a damn file. Ugh ugh ugh.

I'm never ever being loyal to any company again ever. I feel so betrayed. It's like me and Apple had been living together for over 10 years and then one day Apple suddenly starts trying to sell me Herbalife products at the dinner table. Well, you can take your crappy weight-loss videos and nutritional supplements and go straight to hell for all I care, Apple. I'm so mad at you.

maybe it would have been better for Apple to have gone bankrupt and died than to have its soul sucked out by its own marketing department.

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stupid macromedia
ha, so dumb. maybe not really macromedia's fault, but this and this weren't very easy to fill out. good thing i always lie on those things anyway.

i hate computers today.
03.13.00 Fern Forest
File under 'Kids Music, Creepy,' right next to Little Marcy. While Marcy partnered with a sinister evangelical ventriloquists dummy, Fern opts instead for a person in a giant chipmunk costume.

get your realplayer ready and put on your heebie-jeebie-proof sweater:
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smokey (the) bear records
he's one big beautiful bear. on 2 albums he's joined with the aforementioned Little Marcy. While Marcy works her magic on the mic, Smokey mans the wheels of steel.

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a different Little Marcy

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robot frank's life
good photo album. also good diary. an excerpt:

"I got kicked out of Sizzler last night.....because the manager saw me pouring bleach into the pasta. I told him I was only pouring it onto the portion I am going to take back to the table, but when he looked in he could see that it was like a 50/50 - pasta/bleach mix. I'm the only one that got kicked out too. Robot Ron got to stay and he was jabbing all of the dinner rolls with lead pencils the whole night. It was so obvious. That manager was a jerk."

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sakuracon faq - costumes
do we have to keep telling everyone this?

"Fetish clothing is not allowed in the public/function areas. Keep the collars, chains, and leashes out of sight. In order to accommodate the wide variety of hotel guests, "political correctness" is important to the hotel. Keep your costumes up to a "PG" rating...."

note the incorrect use of the phrase 'political correctness.' it seems like it's pretty much never used appropriately, but even when it is, it's usually used to say something stupid.

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a lot of pictures of people dressed as pikachu
maybe not all of them kept their costumes 'up to a PG rating.' maybe some are PG-13. or perhaps a soft R.

(that is to say that, i don't think there's any nudity, but it's likely that if you leave some of these up on your screen at work, people walking by will think you're a perv.) and please don't forget dear mr. squirtle.

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anime central 99
more anime fans in costume, please.

okay, here you go.

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Celestial Ribbon Campaign
"Awarness For Victims of Intergalactic Violence"

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Home of the Stop Hating Leonardo DiCaprio Ribbon

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more ribbon campaigns
man, there are so many. including the ribbon campaign against ribbon campaigns.
more ATM stuff
maybe i already mentioned this. Most ATMs here close at 7 pm. very very not convenient.

03.12.00 more j-pop mp3s
I put in Polysics (spastic "tokyo new wave"), a couple Puffy songs, plus a Blondie cover and a Bowie cover.

i think the idrive/misterpants link is fixed so you can just click it without having to do all that other junk.

also people have uploaded a bunch of fun stuff. thanks! i think i need to set up another account because this one's only got a few megs left. it filled up quick!

03.11.00 [oh hey! thanks a ton to the people who dropped stuff in the misterpants idrive Dropbox. so great! it's like getting presents. i'm gonna try to put more j-pop in the shared folder soon. also i moved the stuff people uploaded into the Shared folder. i hope no one minds. it's pretty great stuff.

man, now i wish i had more than 50 megs on there to i just load it up with stuff. so much fun.

anyway, domo arigato gozaimashita!]

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mos burger desktops celebrating "Mos Day" on March 12
desktops for mac and windows>
also mos burger is hiring.

oh, and here's a cute drawing of the Mos Hygienic system, whatever that is.

i like Mos Burger. Their menu changes every season. They have a veggie burger with a bun made of rice. The summer veggie burger was best--filled with pickled vegetables and seaweed. Yeah, pickled vegetables in a rice bun--i guess it's a "burger" in name and shape only.

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more quicktime movies of puffy tv ads
the ten-nen has one of those classic elephant-washing misadventures.

and chelsea is pretty old; it features a car made of candy, reminds me of the wonkamobile. (was that made of candy? i forget.)

tessera is super cute too. bubbles.

these are from the puffy dreamzone which is an all-around good Puffy site. it even has links to some Puffy mp3s.

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huge archive of articles about sex in japan
more than 60 articles. mostly from 1997-1998 it seems like. from Yosha Research Center with other interesting articles as well, but i know you. you wanna read the sex articles.

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fashion news
from cutie magazine, for independent girls.

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circlejerk pita
i really like this pita. (and it's not nasty as the name would imply.) it's ad criticism. Occasionally Canado-centric. Mostly about ads i've never seen, sometimes about products i've never even heard of. also some catty gossip and in-jokes about people i don't know. all good. but the very best part is from the archive: "Things I'm Tired of Hearing Clients Say About Advertising and what They Really Mean". (scroll down for it.) so good.

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freshness burger fans network
mostly broken links. because freshness burger fans are notoriously fickle when it comes to their ISPs.

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beary big hug
"huggly wuggly a snuggly snug!"
money, money, money
you can withdraw up to around $10,000 from a Japanese ATM. (maybe more.) i know someone who accidentally took out $7000 thinking it was $700. Ha, oops. Decimal places can be tricky. (¥700,000 instead of ¥70,000.)

In America, withdrawing $700 would even seem crazy (and most accouts don't even let you), but this society is cash-based, as everyone is fond of saying. There are no checks. Checks seem antiquated and dumb here. And credit cards aren't accepted very many places. So you have to walk around with tons of moolah on your person. This can cause problems when Japanese people visit a place like America where walking around with $1000 in your pocket is maybe not such a good idea.

Also because it's so safe here, sometimes people waiting in line might get their money ready and just casually hold out a $100 bill. It seems like in America you hide your money until the last possible second. don't let anyone know how much you have on you! kind of crazy.

Also certain vending machines accept $100 bills. (¥10,000 bills.)
we got sent a package of american food and stuff. and one of the items was a bag of Craisins. Craisins are insane. The name alone should get them singled out for derision. Craisins! So dumb. I'd see a product called Craisins here and think, "ha ha, Japanese English is pretty funny sometimes." but they're American. and they make me embarassed to be American.

All over the Craisins package, it says "sweetened dried cranberries," like the copy on the back says:

"You're about to discover an exciting snack sensation--Craisings® Sweetened Dried Cranberries. Craisins® Sweetened Dried Cranberries are made from premium Ocean Spray® cranberries... sweetened... dried..." blah blah.

so yeah, over and over "sweetened dried cranberries." until finally i wanna say "shut the hell up! shut up about your stinking sweetened dried cranberries! i get it, alright? sweetened. and dried. got it. now SHUTUP SHUTUP SHUTUP!"

but they won't shut up. on the front, it says "surprisingly sweet snack." and that's super extra dumb because it's not at all surprising how sweet it is, considering the first ingredient is sugar. there's more sugar than cranberries, so if anything it should be a surprise that you can still taste the cranberries over all that sugar. so it'd be better if it just said, "sweet snack" or maybe if it just said, "crap." that would be the best.

Also the copy on the back says "Craisins® are a fun, wholesome snack the entire family will enjoy." Which is a cliche that i thought copy writers abandoned in the 50s. are there some raunchy snacks are not wholesome enough to share with the whole family? Raunchy Raisins®? Some kind of adults only Chex mix or something? So dumb.

next time just send Ho-Hos. no more asinine cranberry candy pretending to be healthy.

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time travel dream
i had a cool time travel dream.
03.10.00 Morning Musume - Love Machine MP3
okay, to get this mp3:
  1. click the link.
  2. go into the "Shared" folder
  3. and it's the file, "Morning Musume - Love Machine.mp3"
(links that require detailed instructions suck, as a rule, but i think this one's worth it.)

Just as the Incredible Hulk was about the difficulties of overexposure to gamma radiation, this song is about how hard it is to be a love machine.

I set up an idrive account just so I could share it. If you can deal with a 4.6Mb download, you should snag this magical song. (while you're there if you wanna fill the Dropbox with stuff, please do. I'll be psyched.)

so. some background info if you want...

here are Morning Musume pictures. There are 8 teenage girls in this band. Soon to be 9, if the rumors are true.

and this is the cover of the Love Machine single.

you can also read the lyrics to Love Machine. plus other MM lyrics.

and finally here are screenshots of their tv appearances. you can maybe also watch the videos but you need to register i think.
payola etc.
Payola isn't illegal here, by the way. I think that's a good footnote to a band like Morning Musume.

Also, it seems like Japan is further along in the concentration of media power. America's working really hard to catch up, though.

Go USA!!!

03.09.00 cavalcade of christ
good funny jesus stuff. (maybe you already know it. it's in the LA Weekly fer cryin out loud.) seriously so funny. oh my god. i was cracking up.

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say it loud, say it proud: i'm nuts.

No single corner human can occupy or experience more than a single corner at the same time during a 4-corner rotation within the 4/16 creation principle. Earth sphere rotates within an invisible Time Cube.

the sister site, is also good. crazy good. "You maybe academically retarded."

[from leslie.]
i scanned in the packaging from the angel pie i ate this afternoon. it's pretty great.

definitely note the instructions on the back.