Give me an idea of approximately how fancy I'm expected to be and I will make the utmost effort to meet or surpass that level of fanciness.
02.26.04    kimjuice.jpg
juicebox hero
giant Kim Dae Jong and Kim Jong Il mosaic made from cut-up juice drink boxes
Made by Japanese high school students.

I wanted you to see this because later you and I will go and make our own cut-up drink box mosaics of world leaders holding hands.

[Thx, Terri.] Happy? belated president's day
South Knox Bubba has cataloged many of our president's misdeeds.

It is my opinion that if the list of things that you have done wrong at your job is as long as this list, then you should be fired.

[Thank you, Lil' JT.] Hello, my name is Street Stickers
I like street stickers a lot. I like that they've done the work to deliver their message to us. And I like that it's usually not at all clear what that message is.

[Another from Lil' JT. Thank you.] i-am-asian.com
via 50cups--in fact, you should check out Alice's great commentary.

Looks like, "we wanted to make a cool site to target our young Asian and Pacific Island customers, but then we realized that we're old and white and too lazy to do any actual research. So we'll just look up some Asian junk in the Encyclopedia Britannica. And then we can go home early."

Hey, if you turn your head 90 degrees to the right, you can read the hip lingo from yesteryear dropped anachronistically into the margin: "totally awesome. who loves ya baby. right on. howzit brah."

McDonald's is so rad.
The headline should be something like: Newsflash! Eight months after its introduction, Mr. Pants finally eats a McDonald's McGriddle
Speaking of McDonald's, I hadn't eaten at one in 4 years or so--ever since the whole secret beef fat in the fries thing. (Oh yeah, which they fed to Hindus. Because McDonald's just absolutely loves insulting Asians.)

Anyway, I was in an airport and hungry and it was the only thing open so I had a McGriddle minus the bacon. And while I would characterize it as a culinary presence that "sat heavy during my flight," I would also characterize it as, "nowhere near as bad as I expected after reading all those articles about the McGriddle syrup crystal development process."

That's my story about eating the McGriddle. The End.

Tune in next week when I eat a Subway sub and ask them to put some of that chipotle sauce on it.
02.13.04    kaiju.jpg
great Japanese costume catalog
Excellent costumes, especially Kaiju and Pierot and this American werewolf and too many more to list really. Yeah. Watts Towers movie
From the vault of the Prelinger Archives, "The Towers" is a 12-minute film made in 1957 about Simon Rodilla's Watts Towers, enjoyable for both the glimpse of Mr. Rodilla's engagement with his project and for the very specifically 1950s way that the short film takes itself seriously.

(You've probably seen them already but in case you haven't and you have any interest in seeing them, my Watts Towers pictures are here.)

[Thank you, José] Lancelot Link and the Evolution Revolution
Saturday morning flower power chimpanzee bubblegum pop. Breakfast with Rip Taylor
Pretty okay book excerpt about a would-be screenwriter's diner encounters with the legendary Rip Taylor.

[Thank you, Bjorn.] Gem Sweater Collection
This link has been fairly well circulated, but even so, I feel an obligation to post it here just in case someone visiting misterpants.com has not seen it. Like I wouldn't be doing my job as a host, if I let you leave without offering you some quality ginger ale and making absolutely certain that you're aware of Leslie Hall's Gem Sweater Collection.

[Thanks Natalia and Alex!]
Mika's Down Under Miniature Golf Course
Do-it-yourself homebrew 18-hole basement golf course.
No updates for a week or so
Sir Meriwell Maxworthy has threatened to revoke my Explorer's Club membership unless I commence some actual exploring. So to avoid the humiliation of having my fellow esteemed Victorian gentlemen disenroll me from the very club I myself founded, I will be embarking on a brief safari.

When I see you again in a week, I intend to be wearing rhino-foot boots from an actual African rhino bravely shot by yours truly.

I know it may sound cruel and awful to you, but it's what we explorers do for scientific progress and to help enrich the civilized world. And I must say that we're awfully sick of you judging us.


Lincoln's birthday
Today is Abraham Lincoln's birthday. If he were still alive, he would be 195 today.

Happy Lincoln's birthday!
02.10.04    dcopher_rodeoclown.jpg
"Skipper Voss" by David Copher
David Copher: Artist and Rodeo Clown
And poet!

When I told my high school guidance counselor that I wanted to be an artist/rodeo clown/poet, he said that I should only pursue that triple-threat career combo if I was prepared for a life of extraordinary wealth and status.

I had to admit to myself that I wasn't ready. But, lucky for us, David Copher went for it.

So now we can see him perform in rodeos across the country, or we can explore the inner workings of the mind of the man beneath the make-up, by reading his rodeo clown poetry. Themes include "misunderstood rodeo clowns" and "the cowboy spirit."

Copher also allows us to see through his rodeo clown eyes with his rodeo clown paintings and prints and the rodeo clown calendar.

Finally, I would like to point out that his bio includes a line about him being kidnapped by cowboy-pirates and without belittling the tragedy of his kidnapping, I want to celebrate the concept of cowboy-pirates for a moment.

You may be tired of pirates, but are you so tired of them that you don't have a few hours this afternoon to spend bothering your co-workers with stories about cowboy-pirates? I hope not.

[Thanks, Scout.]
02.07.04    xerox8010.jpg
Xerox Star 8010
The Xerox 8010 speaks your language
From 1981:
"... the screen on the 8010 is organized like an "electronic desk top." With the assistance of an electronic pointer, a user simply points to familiar office objects, such as in- and out-baskets, file folders and file drawers." 80s Stuff Vodka Kalashnikov
Vodka in an assault-rifle-shaped bottle--the only vodka officially approved by the inventor of AK-47, himself, Mikhail Kalashnikov.

Here's the official website.

And here's the Polish knock-off, Sniper Vodka.

Probably the last line of this entry should include something about "doing shots."

[Thanks, Human Torch.]


another Harmon Leon adventure
Mr. Leon gets on the TV show, Blind Date. And he's just plain smooth. He shows up for dinner in lederhosen and is compelled to jam several sticks of butter into his mouth before the meal begins.

Remember, there's more Harmon Leon here. Now in reverse-chronological order!
new business idea
Selling hugs. Twenty-five dollar hugs.

And here's the best part: I don't actually have to hug anyone. My role would be more that of a hug-broker. I'd pair up paying hug-buyers with each other.

This is the sort of idea that people are referring to when they talk about thinking outside the box.