explanation or something would go here.
07.29.99 hq2o
"Natural Spring Water From The Fountains of Cyberspace"

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Battlestar Galactica revival
some people just really need to let go of Battlestar Galactica. The original show cashed in on the Star Wars hype with a shoddy made-for-tv rip-off. Richard Hatch, who played Apollo in the series, wants to make a new Battlestar Galactica--cashing in on the Star Wars hype with a shoddy theatrically-released rip-off. (Okay, I'm sure he doesn't want to make it shoddy.)

here's ground zero in the revival movement: Richard "Apollo" Hatch's site. In addition to acting and trying to resurrect bad old tv shows, Hatch gives seminars (on topics like "Unleashing Your Power And Creative Vision") and sells great photos of himself, like this one.

Then see what others revivalists have to say: Battlestar Galactica Resurrection.

Also, check out the review of the Galactica 2000 trailer. Don't forget the Battlestar Galactica Wonderbread set, which should convince you to donate to the cause.

"May the Lords of Kobol Guide Us"

[thanks to Steve for a bunch of this. Steve suggested the following intro to this blurb, which would've been much more clever: "some things never change in life, case in point, Richard Hatch's haircut."]
Lady Baltimore Bakery
in San Francisco's Mission district on Guerrero and 18th. the guy that owns this store is a DICK! a friend of mine lives across the street from it. And since it opened, she's had trouble sleeping because Lady Baltimore leaves its ugly pink neon sign on all night. So she went to talk to the owner and she was completely reasonable about it--she said she understands that he wants to promote the store, but that maybe he could shut the neon light off from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. or so. and that having the sign on all night is a little disruptive to the people who live there, so maybe a few neighborhood folks could meet and they could figure out what was a reasonable time. his response was essentially that, "you won't be able to get 5 people to agree. and i don't care anyway, because this is not a community-based business."

so this is my little grass-roots boycott Lady Baltimore campaign. don't shop there, okay? i hear their baked goods taste like crap anyway.
i had a dream the other night about chocolate-powered robotic frogs running amok.
07.28.99 0irect28rainNET.CART01
i dunno. i dunno. but i like it. this too: 0irect28rainNET.CART02.

oh, i see. looks like it's part of this thing for sending net.art greeting cards.

07.27.99 what is an autopsy?
"information from Your Family Doctor: What is an autopsy?"

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Space Ghost News
usually the official website for a tv show like this would be really lame and would never get updated, but this one is great. the same weird humor that has made this tv show a staple of a well-balanced comedy diet can be ingested here as well. lots of really funny stuff, especially the geocities-style homepages for the council of doom. some faves:
jack van impe ministries
a few weeks ago, i transcribed a brief snippet of dialogue from Jack Van Impe Ministries, and i just now found it again.

Rexella: "in addition to Y2K, cyber protesters will hack into websites around the world."

Jack: "am i worried? No, have the Lord. People are stocking up. I'll make provisions, sure...." and then i must have continued on another post-it which i can't find now.

(more Van Impe stuff here, and here.)

07.24.99 Facts of Life
They have every single episode archived, even the pilot. No scripts, though. Oh, i found the infamous "Dope" episode, in which a young Helen Hunt makes a guest appearance, playing Emily, a dope fiend! Of course!

I'm learning so much. First of all, i didn't know that the show was a mid-season replacement for Hello, Larry. Also, George Clooney was on Facts of Life for a season. As was Molly Ringwald.

This site is really strange though, sort of serious and clinical with an ugly, difficult interface. Mrs. Garrett and the girls deserve something more flattering.

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bills itself as "The Farmer's Almanac of Celebrity Worth". i don't know what that means, but i do know that it is funny as hell. great sassy writing about celebrities, about a third of whom i don't even know but still read about because the writing's so funny. and catty, yes.

A sample from galaxy of fame:
"Hi, I'm George Clooney. If someone had asked you, "Of all of the stars of Batman and Robin, which will be the one to emerge with his/her career intact and even thriving?" you likely would have guessed "Chris O'Donnell" or "Uma Thurman" or "Alicia Silverstone." But you likely would not have guessed "George Clooney," would you? The same George Clooney who, still basking in good notices from Out of Sight, is now set to star in the film version of The Perfect Storm? No, you wouldn't."

07.23.99 botan rice candy
botan rice candy is awesome. these guys say it's "stupid" because that's their thing. (which, i think that's stupid in itself.) they call everything stupid because they're stupid.com. but they're wrong about this stuff. you can eat the wrapper. that's smart!
Haight Street
if you're irritating, i'd recommend that you go to Haight Street in San Francisco because you will meet a lot of like-minded persons there.

07.22.99 the miracle of marvin
as miracles go, it starts pretty good, with a motorcycle chase that ends in a pickle field. (pickle field? wouldn't it be a cucumber field?) after that, i think it gets kind of dull, so i just skipped ahead to the last 5 paragraphs where jesus fixes the lawnmower.

from the index of born again testimonies

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"I would like to point out two things. One, Panthro and Cheetara have never shown signs of any relationship, AND the Thunder Cats DO NOT have genetalia!!!!!!!!!"
i wrote a really long review of this Thundercats fan fiction site, but the above quote pretty much says it all.

oh, one other thing. here's a drawing of Thundercats demanding better service in a neighborhood bar. i think if i was a bartender and Thundercats came in, I'd be worried that they'd start trouble and that they'd be bad tippers.

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WILL -N- TESTAMENT by olia lialina
web artist and rigorous self-promoter, Olia Lialina, has done something interesting here. it's all text, but every letter is a gif. completely impractical. fun. watch it load.

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celebrity wills
and old wills from as far back as 1493. Jerry Garcia's will is there, for instance. As are the wills of Walt Disney, and Elvis. my favorite celebrity will is that of Wilhelm Reich because he had to decide what to do with "the instruments which served the Discovery of the Life Energy". this is a great site for will buff weirdos, like Pete. [from Pete]

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cowboy shooting at koko head shooting complex
as if the name "koko head shooting complex" wasn't entertaining enough, they also have a cowboy day. yippee! "When these guys shoot, they're usually dressed up in cowboy outfits..." yes, yes, of course.